BOOK REVIEW: The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex by Kristen Schaal & Rich Blomquist

THE SEXY BOOK OF SEXY SEX
by Kristen Schaal and Rich Blomquist
(Published 2010, 191 pages)

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As I perused the New Releases bin at Books-A-Million, it was love at first sight when I saw The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex. And from the time of my purchase to the book's climax, I was overcome with hysterical laughter.

How Not to Use This Book

As you read, you will no doubt come to associate this guide with pure erotic pleasure. However, under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you insert this book into ANY orifice for purposes of sexual gratification. It is bound with cheap Chinese glue that will POISON YOU (Schaal & Blomquist, 10).

With this off-the-wall sex guide, real-life couple Schaal and Blomquist succeed in pulling off a clever artifice. At first glance, the book looks like your average run-of-the-mill Sex Advice book, but once you reach the lofty Table of Contents, it's obvious that you're in store for a sleazy satire of epic proportions.

• CHAPTER 1: Sex in Nature
• CHAPTER 2: The History of Sex
• CHAPTER 3: Cupid's Toolbox
• CHAPTER 4: Masturbation
• CHAPTER 5: Regular Sex
• CHAPTER 6: The Gay Chapter
• CHAPTER 7: For Sexperts Only
• CHAPTER 8: The Dark Side of Sex
• CHAPTER 9: The Future of Sex

As with a standard Biology textbook, each chapter focuses on one particular topic and is broken up into mini-lessons. Lessons are played out in short stories, fake diary entries, and historical timelines, peppered with fascinating "fucktoids." Personally, one of my favorite short stories involves Anne Boleyn and King Henry VIII sneaking away for a disgusting latenight tryst.


A veritable hodgepodge of various forms like comic books, screenplays, and retro advertisements, this META element makes The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex incredibly comical on multiple levels. There is never a dull moment because the book frequently and effortlessly bounces back and forth between different formats. From an aspiring screenwriter's standpoint, I laughed hardest at the role-playing games and the TV Fan Fiction scripts (erotic re-imaginings of classic shows like ALF and The Golden Girls). Seriously, as soon as I get my hands on a Yeti costume, my boyfriend and I'll be acting that one out. *growls*


Adding to the meta element are the book's completely ludicrous countdowns, modeled after ones readers might find in women's magazines like Cosmo and InStyle. My best gay, Paul, and I shared a good laugh over a countdown entitled "20 Things Not To Think About While Masturbating." Topping the list are mass genocide, the Trail of Tears, and your grandmother... as expected.


With this irreverent sex How-To guide, Schaal and Blomquist do an excellent job of presenting both the male and female point of view, with equal amounts of hilarity. And of course, I must give them props for including "The Gay Chapter," embracing the Gays where most sex guides are heteronormative and gloss over homosexuality altogether. So with that, I say, RUN, do not walk, to your local bookstore and pick up this laugh riot... At 191 pages, you can go from cover to cover within an hour.