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A Nasty Case of Stage Fight

Theme Song: "Mortal Kombat" - The Immortals A couple of months ago, I found myself lounging around the house with a rare Sunda...

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Meals On Wheels DGAF!

W-T-F. Came home and saw a suspicious looking middle-aged White guy hanging outside my block, shoving what appeared to be a pamphlet in someone's door, before jumping into his pickup truck. On the walk to my place, I realize... it's A SLICE OF PIZZA! 🍕🤔🤔


 


Ummm... who does that? I don't know if it's a stupid prank or what. I hover around the door for a few minutes, not sure if this is real life or if I fell asleep watching "Twin Peaks" again. 🕵️🌳 It wouldn't be the first time.




I believe a very elderly woman lives in that unit... YES, that same old lady who--after watching me shovel two parking spaces out of the snow, implied that I shovel her out too--after which I politely told her to eat a big black dick (not mine, of course). 😆🍆


DEEP deep down inside I am a Good Samaritan so I consider knocking on the door and informing the resident of this pizza situation. But then I think, What if they see me out here and wrongfully assume I DID IT? They'll just shoot my black ass and pay a $20 fine. 😱😂😂 




I also consider grabbing the slice and tossing it in my trash can, but what if this wasn't a malicious gesture and my neighbor will be ecstatic to find a crusty-ass piece of pepperoni pizza on her doorstep? Perhaps it's just another one of those White things I'll never understand...

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