❁ Dyed Black As A Warning ❁

SO. I woke up this morning to an extremely random FaceBook message from someone I don't know in any way, shape, or form. And it goes a little something like this:

No american actress should ever play Red Sonja. definitely not mcgowan .no american actress would ever do brigettes character any justice. just watched Red yesterday on my dvr. brings back childhood memories

I won't lie, I'm kinda creeped out, but on the other hand, I'm flattered that strange men think I'm approachable enough to engage in a film argument. So I will accept your challenge, sir. And GO!

First of all, the original "Red Sonja" is not an Academy Award winning masterpiece. It is one of those awesomely BAD "cult classics" with a ridiculous storyline, cheesy special effects, and over-the-top acting. It stars acting powerhouses Brigitte Nielsen and Arnold Schwarzenegger... need I say more? The elaborate swordfighting scenes are the only saving grace of this picture.



As of 2009, Rose McGowan has been the frontrunner to play Red Sonja in the Robert Rodriguez remake. Personally, I don't see why anyone would want to re-make this movie, but if anyone can transform the laughable 80s version into something dark, edgy, and exciting, it's Rodriguez (best known for his El Mariachi trilogy, Sin City, Planet Terror, Machete). I, too, was skeptical at first because Rose is only 5'4", but I know that as a pioneer of the 90s Indie Movement, she has the acting chops to play Red Sonja... one thing's for certain, she couldn't do any worse than Brigitte Nielsen!


And not only is this guy's claim that "No american actress should play Red Sonja," exceedingly racist, it's incredibly ironic given that ROSE McGOWAN ISN'T EVEN FROM AMERICA! That's correct: Rose was actually born and raised in Florence, Italy until age 9, when she migrated to the United States. I'd definitely attribute her porcelain radiance to her Italian lineage; her American accent is so good at this point that audiences are hard-pressed to tell the difference.


In addition to having a beautiful face and a banging body, Rose is ONE TOUGH BITCH. She's so dedicated to her craft that she insists on doing her own dangerous stunts (most notably in Planet Terror) and recently had some of her elbow surgically removed as a result.

Perhaps what makes Rose such a great choice is her ability to laugh at herself; she never takes herself too seriously. Whenever Rose graces the silver screen, she exudes confidence and makes any script come alive with her comedic timing. If Rodriguez wants to remake Red Sonja, I believe that Rose could enhance the script with her trademark sarcasm and badassery.


All I know for sure is this: If Rodriguez keeps Rose McGowan in this iconic role, I will definitely see the movie in the theater. If he casts some random foreign behemoth instead... I'll catch it on SyFy.