This Ain't About Women's Lib... It's About Women's LIB-IDO!

Lately, my iPod's been playing a lot of songs by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. So when I saw that The Runaways was on sale for $9 at FYE, I just couldn't pass it up. Even though I'd never seen the movie, and I CAN'T STAND Kristen Stewart (who for some reason, was cast as guitar goddess Joan Jett), I decided to take a chance. When the FYE hipster cashier rang me up, he said, "Kristen Stewart's really good in this one"... to which I responded, "PFFT, DOUBT IT." Sorry, it was a reflex.


As you probably guessed, The Runaways tells the story of The Runaways, the world's first all-girl Rock N Roll group, best known for their jailbait anthem, "Cherry Bomb." The film features the original band line-up: Cherie Currie, Joan Jett, Lita Ford, Sandy West, and Jackie Fox (renamed "Robin Robbins" for legal reasons). Not only were they 16 years old, they played their own instruments and rocked just as hard as their male peers. Sadly, as is the case with practically every girl group in history, they quickly disbanded because egos took precedence over music and drama between bandmates played out onstage and off (see: The Supremes, Klymaxx, The Spice Girls, The Pussycat Dolls).

First of all, The Runaways is a rather misleading title, because only 2 out of the 5 bandmates have speaking parts. This doesn't surprise me, given that the entire screenplay is based on Cherie Currie's autobiography, "Neon Angel: A Memoir of a Runaway," and only Jett and Currie cooperated with the film adaptation. Not a good sign.

On top of that, the story itself is surprisingly boring. I was expecting to see a story about the band's long hard road to fame and fortune and their gradual descent into obscurity. WELL... apparently, Joan Jett just walked up to record producer, Kim Fowley, in a nightclub and said, "Hi, I'm Joan Jett and I play guitar." And without hearing her play a single chord, HE HANDED HER A RECORD CONTRACT, and they searched for more hot teenage girls to form a group. Seriously, that's how it all began.

As for Kristen Stewart's performance, all I can say is, "You've gotta be shitting me, Woman!" I wasn't expecting much, having seen her work in Twilight and Adventureland. But given that Stewart has received so much praise from the filmmakers and JOAN JETT HERSELF for her "Method" approach to the role, I'm shocked that she dropped the ball completely. When I say "Method Acting," I mean, Joan Jett was on the movie set every day, spending enormous amounts of time hanging out with Kristen. And Kristen devoted this time to studying and mimicking Jett's body language, hand gestures, and accent. She succeeds at walking and strumming her guitar like Joan Jett would, but when it comes to dialogue, her performance is as unmotivated and boring as ever. In my opinion, she wasted so much time imitating "Joan Jett: The Ordinary Person" that she never created "Joan Jett: The Visionary Character." She lets her impeccable hair and makeup artist do all the work for her. Bottom line: she comes off as more of a stand-in than an actress.


In a bit of stunt casting, Dakota Fanning, best known for her childhood roles in I Am Sam and War of the Worlds, plays small town girl-turned-sex symbol, Cherie Currie. And much to my surprise, she does an excellent job! I've never been a Dakota fan, but I couldn't take my eyes off her in this movie. Granted, she definitely had the most resources to work with: a detailed backstory, a character arc, tons of screen time, and access to Cherie Currie. Unlike Stewart, Dakota spoke briefly to Cherie Currie for research, studied Currie's teenage idols (David Bowie, Peggy Lee, etc), and created a compelling tragic heroine.


The Runaways only tells the story of Cherie and out of obligation, Joan. This becomes glaringly obvious when the credits roll and we only see life updates on Joan, Cherie, and record exec Kim Fowley... Fuck everyone else. Save your money; wait until it's on cable.