I Heart Huckabees

Original Air Date: 02.27.05
Opening Song: "Strange Bath" - Jon Brion

Earlier today I ventured to my local Starbucks for a lunch date with Mr. Dolan. And it went very well, if I do say so myself. For those of you not in the know, Dolan is my interviewer from the Columbia University Alumni Board. He is currently V.P. at Clear Channel, also known as the Smooth Jazz radio station headquarters. Woo!


Whew, I think the interview went very well. But then again, after hearing his voice over the phone, I was expecting an old dude with white hair stroking a white cat, with a scar under his right eye. Luckily, Mr. Jim was none of the above. It was a good time; he told me lots of fun stories about his college days--about how he would sneak off campus at 1AM with the Honduran guys, go to the local park, and of course, how his lady friend got "knived" (stabbed) on the Subway. Yeah! When he mentioned his friend, he reminded me to "always use common sense." Once again, for those of you not in the know, that's a nice way of calling a dead person "a dumbass." Overall, he's a good guy, and I had a blast talking to him about myself. *blush,blush* Plus, it'd feel so good to get into my first choice college.


After the interview, I walked down to Circuit City (I keep them in business, really) and picked up I Heart Huckabees on DVD. It was TERRIFIC!! 4 Stars and a thumbs up, y'all! It took about an hour, but that film really grew on me and it was a great experience. I'd say that I saw myself most in Brad, Jude Law's character. You see, Brad covers up all his emotions with smiles, jokes, and stories that he tells so people will like him. I do that. Hell, I'm doing that right now! The most touching scene in the movie is when Brad stops telling his stories for one day, and as a result, he loses his job, his girlfriend, his house, and has an emotional breakdown. Once again, if my tear ducts worked, I'd cry. But they don't, so I can't.


Quote of the Day: "*breaking down* I have to go to a benefit. Don't tell anybody. You know what, TELL EVERYBODY!! Actually, no, don't tell anyone, please. Please... don't tell them you saw me crying. *camera flashes* NO ONE SEES THAT PICTURE! NOBODY SEES THAT PICTURE! *runs away*" - Jude Law, I Heart Huckabees

BiNGO!
You heard me! Yesterday I helped with the Basket Bingo fundraiser at the VFW Post to raise money for the NHS Music Department. And oh, what a day it was!


First of all, let me say, I never venture to the other side of my town. I've had bad experiences with the high schoolers over there (creatures easily identified by the "chesapecker," as we have come to know it). Really, I'm perfectly cool going to inner city Baltimore to see my cousins... but I freak out when I travel to the strange land beyond Ft. Smallwood Rd. That area literally scares me, y'all; guess I'm afraid that a saltwater crab is gonna hop out of a bush and bite me on the ass or somethin'. *cringe*

Anyway, back to the Bingo, I wasn't liking the snippy middle-aged customers at first, but after a while, they were my peeps, yo. We went from stony, awkward silence to "Hey Baby, could you bring us some more nachos?" "Sure, y'all." How did we get THERE? And so quickly. Maybe it's just the high schoolers that seem to have no home training sometimes. O well, they were a good crowd.


O yeah, our guest of honor was KT... a.k.a. Miss Pasadena! WOO! OMG, I was dying of laughter inside. KT, "the sarcastic one," walkin' around with a plastered-on smile and matching tiara. No one was really paying attention to her... 'cause when it comes to Bingo and baskets, those old ladies don't play. For real. So I ran over to KT after one of the games, covered my mouth, did the "loud inhale", and said excitedly, "Oh my god, it's Miss Pasadena. Andy, catch me, I'm gonna faint," like the starstruck fan I really am. We all had fun.

What did I learn? Until today, I never realized how competitive Bingo really was. And there is like ZERO sportsmanship: "All is fair in love and Bingo," I guess. The people always booed whenever someone else won a basket. That ain't right, y'all. He's only 7 years old, be happy for the little guy! One of the most intense moments of the night was when "BiNGO!" was yelled out on one side of the room and all you heard on the other side was a young lady yelling, "SHITTT!!" And Yes, it was that LOUD.

Snow Day

Original Air Date: 02.24.05
Opening Song: "Walk Like An Egyptian" - The Bangles

Phew, I'm downright giddy right now! It's snowing outside and had school not been canceled, I would be there until about 4:45PM today, bored out of my mind. You see, I'm one of the judges in the preliminary (audition) stage of this year's Music Mayhem a.k.a Battle Of The Bands (along with Jess, Ken, and Josh).

Yesterday, we listened to demo tapes from Blackout (last year's fan favorite), The Rockvilles, and Ill-Fated. The first two were awesome and unique but frankly, Ill-Fated was absolutely horrid. According to Ken & Jess, it was an improvement from last year, but that's not saying a lot. Their performance was just a wave of loud, incoherent screams set to mediocre music... but hey, only 5 bands are auditioning so far.

O yeah, that reminds me. After weeks of fighting it, my fanclub finally coaxed me into performing at Music Mayhem. It was funny; Sara and Nichol snuck into my first period class, told me that they were gonna do something in the show and were really hoping that I would do it 'cause they know lots of people would be excited. So... I broke down and said, "Alright, count me in. I think it'll be fun." High-five! WOO! Woo... Woo.

As soon as I got back to my seat, I was like "Oh, fuck me! Now I've got one more thing to stress me out!" Ain't peer pressure a bitch? Really. Now I have to find a cool song and choreograph a routine which should be different from the Stripper routine I'm doing in May (for my one-act play). Uggh, I've said "yes" to them already, and I've never been a quitter in my life, so I'm just gonna suck it up and do it. RRRrrr!


And since most people on the yearbook staff were in the senior skit and actually enjoy participating in extracurriculars, we already have some more acts for the show: Danielle, Brittany, and 'em are gonna do a Spice Girls tribute; James might do some PG-13 stand-up comedy, and Kevin and Jon (Class of '04) might sing somethin'. Awesome! *sigh* I just hope I don't make an ass of myself.

Alright, since I had time to kill, here are some of the quizzes I took a minute ago. Talk 2 y'all later.

What Kind of Geek are You?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
Your IQ is	high
You are a	word nerd
Your strength is	you never need to sleep
Your weakness is	caffeine
You think normal people are	strange
Normal people think that you are	satanic
This Quiz by owlsamantha - Taken 172882 Times.

New - How do you get a guy to like you?

How hot do others think you are?
Name
Age
Gender
People consider you	GORGEOUS!!!
You consider yourself	One hunk wrapped up to go!
About this many think you're hot	90
Your hotness level - 92%
My psycho abilities tell me...	(8) - You may rely on it. - (8)
This Quiz by DiWolfe - Taken 4440 Times.

New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology and Horoscopes

Your 80s Theme Song:

Your 80s Theme Song is Walk Like an Egyptian by the Bangles

What's Your 80's Theme Song?

I Got Punk'd, Yo!

Original Air Date: 02.20.05
Opening Song: "Boogeyman" - Rob Zombie

I attended the scholarship luncheon in Baltimore earlier this afternoon... and that's two hours of my life that I'll never get back. Seriously, it was a waste of my time. It turns out that ALL 54 of the finalists in the competition were all invited to the ceremony; unfortunately, only 12 of us bothered to show up. And the committee hadn't decided beforehand who was going to win; instead, they assigned everyone a number and whoever's number was drawn from bingo cage would win one of the $500 scholarships.

Needless to say, only 4 of the people who actually came and 11 people who didn't even have to suffer through that boring ass ceremony ended up receiving the scholarships. What a crock! All I could think, as I looked at my disappointed fellow finalists and their families, was, "I've gotta get out of here."


Quote Of The Day: "You're broke? You mean, there ain't no job for me?! *sadly lowers her head* Son of a bitch... TV, I trusted you and ya made a fool out of me!! You're gonna pay!" - Foxxy Love, Drawn Together

And even after the ceremony was over, I couldn't escape. See, my mom had to show me off to all the bigwigs at her job. They were all nice people. I was OK until I ran into the guest speaker, Pastor Whatshisface. He kept asking me asinine questions and would interrupt me every time I tried to respond.

That guy really, REALLY started to piss me off when he started telling me what I was doing wrong and what I should do to succeed in life. RRRRRrrrr... Does JiMBO gotta choke a priest? Back up off me! He richly deserved it, but I controlled myself; besides, my Mama was there so I had to make her proud.


After the ceremony I went to Circuit City to buy myself a little happiness. I ended up buying some old favorites: Death Becomes Her and Booty Call: The Bootiest Edition. OK, so I'm a weirdo; I accept it. I truly hope your day went better than mine. Sweet Dreams, y'all.

LateNight Rendezvous

Original Air Date: 02.18.05
Opening Song: "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" - Frankie Valli

This week has been awesome (as usual)! In Band, I've got clarinet solos in 2 of our songs already... oh yeah, nothing like earning a solo to make your day brighter! And I was barraged with Thank You's after my AVID session; my students are really learning the material (from me as opposed to their actual teacher) and I couldn't be happier with them. I just wish we all could attend that Trust Seminar at Arlington Echo this year.

That reminds me. In Psychology, we took the Kersey Personality Test and, like my teacher, I turned out to be an ISTJ (a.k.a. "The Inspector"). Inspectors are the kind of people that go into stores knowing exactly what they want; they get in, get out, without all that dilly-dallying. I laughed my head off when I realized how accurate that was; I always tear off a scrap of paper and write down ideas of what I need before I go into any store... I even did it yesterday.

And when I was cleaning my room, I found a man's business card: he was this creepy 60 year-old guy in a leather fur-trimmed pimp coat who flirted with my mother while we were all standing in line at Sears Electronics. *cringe* WHY THE HELL WOULD I KEEP HIS CARD? *turns the card over* Oh. Here's exactly what it said on the back: "Shampoo, Apricot Scrub, Xtreme Deodorant (stick), Altoids." I'm definitely an ISTJ, y'all!

Last night was a lot of fun: Carolyn, Chelsey, Amber, and I hit the mall and saw a flick. On my way to meet them, this girl (who I never met in my life) came up to me asking if I could spare some change. I love helping people (even if in a small way) so I gave her a buck and she gave me a hug. Awwww... Don't worry: she smelled good. That could've been very awkward. But anyway, I've seen Closer, so I love hugging strangers. HOT! I was so happy to hook up with Carolyn and Chelsey upstairs since I wasn't sure if Rice Lady would make it (she left school early b/c her beloved parakeet fell ill... and it was fatal). Besides, she just had to get out of that House of the Dead.

The three of us ran into Autumn and Hope at our rendezvous point, Waldenbooks. While Chelsey was actually looking at books *shake of head* Rice Lady and I draped ourselves over the railing and watched the JCPennys Fashion Show. It was frickin' hilarious! I felt sorry for those girls, walking around in those outrageous clothes in the middle of the mall... at least they had a DJ crankin' out the jams (like Usher and Ciara and such) Rock On.


After Chelsey finally got her bargain book, we went to see Son of the Mask starring Jamie Kennedy and Alan Cumming. And it was a very good movie to see with the kiddies--great actors, cool music, good dancing, and KICK-ASS animation/effects. Personally, I like Alan Cumming 'cause he's just hilarious onscreen and off (you might remember him from X2, Josie & The Pussycats, or even, Spice World). Overall, I would give this movie "3 Stars!"

After the movie, we stayed for the credits and danced in our seats... hey, I'm not crazy, but they had some kickin' credit music, man! I showed Rice Lady a couple of moves, including "The Batman," which was an actual move (my mom did it in the 70s). After we left, we went to the Hallmark store (Woo! Go Hallmark!) since their stuffed animals were goin' for $3.00. I thought of Shannon when I saw this really cute stuffed frog... the only green thing in the entire store, since it was Val Day on Monday. I didn't buy anything 'cause I had already went buckwild in Best Buy earlier, buying at least 7 movies (including TAXI).


Quote of the Day: "Okay, Kyle. Go ahead. Throw your nunchucks away. If you can. But you know damn well that your Jewish blood won't let you. You can't get rid of something you paid 15 bucks for. Go ahead and try... Mel Gibson was right, Kyle. Right now, the Jew inside of you is screaming, 'NO! THOSE COST MONEY! GET YOUR MONEY BACK!!!' You know this to be true. *watches Kyle struggling* Prove Mel Gibson Wrong, Kyle. DO IT." - Eric Cartman, South Park

Sadly, since Carolyn's busy today, I'm busy tomorrow, and Chelsey can't do anything this Monday, we should treasure that night. Savor the flavor, girls, 'cause this will never happen again. Awww, I hope that isn't true. Alright, enough about my nightlife, it's time for a new episode of Dream Within A Dream.


Tale #4: "Telekinesis"
Original Air Date: 11/21/1999
Janelle and her mother live in a large, undecorated mansion. The mansion walls, like Janelle's actual bedroom, are painted a red-orange. There's a huge, spiraling staircase leading to up one door--the door to Janelle's room.

Her room looks identical to how it looked back then, except it doesn't contain a TV, a Playstation, or Janice's bed. It does, however, have computer desk identical to mine. I enter her room and I see Janelle, KT, and Tommy. We work on a social studies project for hours until I just leave abruptly.

I come back the next day, but this time my mom comes too so she can talk to her friend, Mrs. Littlejohn (Janelle's mama). I ask her mom if the others are already here and she says, "Yeah, they're up there." I open the bedroom door and experience an amazing case of Deja Vu: the three of them haven't moved a muscle since I left, only this time, their eyes are completely glazed over, fixated on the computer desk. On that desk, there are four action figures.

I walk in and sit next to Tommy. He says, "Let's try and make these objects move." Okay. I use the wisdom of Lao Ma ("Stop willing. Stop desiring. Stop hating.") to accomplish perfect stillness. I cause smallest, yellow action figure to explode. Tommy makes the 2nd smallest, purple action figure tip over, still laying on the desk. KT makes the 3rd smallest, yellow action figure tip backwards on the desk.

Finally, Janelle uses her mental powers to cause the largest, blue action figure to fly right off the desk.

THE END

Things Just Keep Gettin' Better

Original Air Date: 02.14.05
Opening Song: "Never Had A Dream Come True" - S Club 7


Happy Valentine's Day, y'all! And remember, single people can be just as happy as the rest of 'em!
I like Valentine's Day! Well, I like the ideas behind it: love, romance, togetherness, happiness, chocolate-y goodness. And I'm proud to say that I'm single, lovin' it, and I still had an awesome Val Day.

I'm so happy about work... all my years of whoring have finally paid off! I've become the high maintenance worker there, making an average of $20 tips an hour. WOOOOOO! It was kinda funny, actually; I spent most the day blushing 'cause my nosy ol' customers kept asking about my HOT Valentine's Day plans, "You're so good looking, how come you don't have a girlfriend?" Well... I'd rather just sit back, watch Chasing Papi and go buckwild on a bag of Cookies N Cream bars. MMMMMmmmm! And I really don't want anybody standing in my way, nagging me to death all day, saying "I Love You" and all that good stuff.

But then again, I felt the single-guy loneliness pain on Sunday... for about 30 seconds. Thought of having a one night stand but really, I could do that any other day of the year. M'hmm.

Oh yeah, we have a new Team Sports coach at the school, Mr. Reynolds. He is OUT OF HIS MIND! No, for real. Picture Chris Farley, then Jack Black. Now squint. That's Mr. Reynolds and he's got just as much as energy as those guys (he's like a wind-up toy)! We're playing volleyball right now; I was a bit rusty the first day but now I'm kickin' underclassman butt once again! Boo-yah, I invented volleyball, bitches! And now I'm like the star student 'cause I may be old & crusty but I'm still a beast. RRRRRrrr!

That reminds me, I almost had a stroke during band rehearsal. I was talking to my band girls and I brought up the Chris Farley comparison and they had NO IDEA who he was! "What are they teaching you in school?!" I felt SOOO old, man! Come on! "Fat Guy in a little coat!" That's classic. I know he's gone now, but I thought that the juniors would at least remember him! Well, they know Jack Black (of course).


Quote of the Day: "I am NOT Monique's mother! Ick! Angela Lansbury is Monique's mother! Shelley Winters is Monique's mother! Sean Connery is Monique's mother! Oh wait, I take that back. Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend. He's 300 years old but he's still a stud!" - Goldie Hawn, First Wives' Club

I invited Rice Lady to the movies this Friday, 'cause with the onset of college interviews and application deadlines, my social life is rapidly coming to an end! I'm booked for the rest of this month!

Oh yeah, more good news, I'm gonna be awarded a $500 scholarship at a luncheon this Sunday (Interview for Columbia University the same day). I hate these kinds of events but hey, $500 will buy my college books.

Alright, since it's a special occasion I've decided to do something different for Valentine's Day, so here it is:


JiMBO's CELEBRITY VALENTINES


Mariel Hemingway
I've had a crush on her since I was 5 years old and I saw her in Delirious with the late and great comedian, John Candy.


Britney Spears
Great girl, sexy voice, awesome dancer, kick-ass body, what's not to love? Britney, you had me at "...Baby one more time." Oh yeah, Congratulations on finally winning that Grammy!


Jude Law
Can't forget about the Jude, y'all! Such a gentleman... I'm proud of how far he has come! Plus, he's a very suave, funny, and multi-talented actor.

That's all for tonight, folks. Time for me to finish my Drexel application. Talk 2 ya soon.

Back 2 Class

Original Air Date: 02.03.05
Opening Song: "I Refuse" - Aaliyah

It's pretty sad when you have to grab the wall to keep the world from spinning around you... believe me, that's how I've been all week. Alright, guess I should speak briefly about school and such.

First of all I want to say "CONGRATULATIONS!" to both Amanda and Teena for getting A's in Kasper's AP English Lit class. You make me proud, girls. Anyway, returning to school wasn't nearly as stressful as I imagined. I'm gonna be teaching English and Spanish to the Freshmen (once again) in AVID sessions; Criminal Justice should be a breeze; and Band *scoff* can't get any worse.

The only class that shocked me was AP Psych; our old class (mostly seniors, all Smarties) was awesome but the kids in the NEW class are soooo rude. I felt sorry for Mr. Markowski 'cause they're back-talkin', yellin', sleepin'... it's a good thing I'm not their teacher cause JiMBO don't play 'dat. Nah-Unh, kids.

And now the saga continues with the second episode of Dream Within A Dream.


Tale #2: "All Aboard the Execution Express"
Original Air Date: 1/31/2005
It's well-past midnight; there isn't a soul outside. I find myself sitting in the back row of the high school auditorium. The room is pitch black but there's a spotlight on the stage. Apparently, auditions for the school play are being held here.

Neelam (Rice Lady's friend) goes up on stage and performs a dramatic monologue. She opens her mouth... but it is NOT her voice. It feels like we're in one of those 70s Kung Fu movies, like her voice is being dubbed over (badly) by a 60 year-old woman. I may sound sick saying this, but it was still pretty sexy. I know, I know...

After watching her performance I walk upstairs and enter the Drama Club's "Green Room." I walk a little further (where the sound system would be) and the entire room magically transforms into a huge newsroom. Suddenly I have a brown, reporter hat on my head and I realize that I am the editor-in-chief of this newspaper with dozens of people working under me.

Sitting at a white desk, one of my writers types away on an antique typewriter. Since he's busy, I tell him that I've got a scoop and I'm going to go check it out. I walk a couple feet to the right and I find myself in a big, white room with balcony seats.


In front of the seats, I see three middle-aged men and women in orange jumpsuits and one wildly obese, sweaty high school student wearing taped-up glasses, a gray hoodie, and sweatpants. *cringe* Apparently, the boy had committed a computer-related crime at the school and was going to be electrocuted for it... but he had to wait in line first.

There were 2 men and one woman in line to sit in the electric chair before the kid had to be strapped in. Since I didn't miss the show I decided to take my seat in a press box reserved just for me. On the way up I ran into Teena and Amanda. As the first prisoner, a creepy guy with a dark brown mullet, started twitching and writhing around manically in the chair, Amanda just burst out laughing, telling Teena how that guy looks just like her dad when he's spazzing out. And I don't think they're being insensitive at all.

THE END

DREAM WITHIN A DREAM TOUR KICK-OFF!

Original Air Date: 01.25.05
Opening Song: "All Star" - Smash Mouth


JiMBO Esquire's DREAM WITHIN A DREAM promotional tour starts today!

A couple nights ago while I was renovating my room, I stumbled upon more buried treasure from my past: snapshots, love letters (and I've dated some illiterate people, y'all), screenplays, and my old dream journal. Anyone who knows me knows that dreams have played a pivotal role in shaping my identity... so I figured it would be cool if I yanked some classic entries from my old B&W notebook. Hope you enjoy the stories and who knows--maybe you could help me interpret some of them. Alright, here goes:


Tale #1: "The Game Room"
Original Air Date: 12/28/2000
It's a cloudy, rainy afternoon; a coach bus (with GFMS students on-board) is parked outside a dark brown brick building. After performing at the countywide Concert Band & Orchestra festival, Mr. Maglocci, the George Fox band director dismisses all eighty students. We all hop off the bus in a frenzy and scatter in different directions.

First, I'm in a 50's diner (with checkerboard floors and ice cream parlor) talking to Josh C about Jillian's grand opening. He tells me that he can't wait to go there Friday night. After I finish talking to him, Ryan K leads into three dark rooms where we talk about all kinds of stuff. He says, "I'm gonna go get something to eat." I respond, "I'll go into the Game Room."

He magically disappears and I find myself in an Alice in Wonderland-esque room. Amanda R storms out of the room after having a frustrating conversation with the always-smiling Jeff. Still wearing his band uniform, Jeff hops into a bathtub filled with green-purple water. He asks me to join him, saying "It'll be okay."


I trust him, so I hop in and as soon as I do, it turns into a water-filled couch (very comfortable, actually). Since we're sitting in front of a TV, we start playing "WWF Warzone" for the Playstation game console. I choose Bret Hart (my all-time favorite) and he picks Lex Luger. Of course, I win.

Then, thinking about how guys are "supposed" to act around each other, I decide to give him a light tap to the chest, to show him there's no shame in losing. But since I'd never tried it before, I backfisted him "rock-hard" in his heart.

He yells, "OW!" and sulks down. Genuinely worried about him, I immediately ask, "Did I hurt you?!" I try my very best to comfort him, slightly hugging him and keeping his head elevated. He reveals his face, white with tears, but they're tears of partial joy.

THE END

QUIZZES: What 2004 Hit Song Are You? / LJ High School

Original Air Date: 01.13.05
Opening Song: "Do Somethin'" - Britney Spears

"Toxic" by Britney Spears

It's getting late To give you up I took a sip From my devil's cup Slowly It's taking over me Ah, what's a year without breaking a few hearts? Literally.

What 2004 Hit Song Are You?

Of course! I just don't know what my year would've been like without Brit's My Prerogative CD... *shudders* I don't wanna think about it. BTW, I took that picture from my desktop (wallpaper)... HOT, right?

LJ High School LiveJournal Username Age Favorite Subject Teacher Seiko_da_Flame (Dr. Lecter) Cheerleader Pair0dox (Blower) Jock Pair0dox (Super Mouse) Nerd Bewitched_1692 (Mascot) Goth Bewitched_1692 (Crazy Cuz) Loner Seiko_da_Flame (Hannibal) Gangsta Nellykun (Thespian Lesbian) Drama Geek Pair0dox (Shannon) Quiz created by Shampoo0405 at BlogQuiz.Net

More Quizzes at Blog Quiz!

Shannon the Drama Geek, John the Loner, Janelle the Gangsta Bitch? You don't say... *thinking pose* Not so sure that Jess is a gothic nerd, though. Oh well, that was entertaining.

Narcissus

Original Air Date: 01.12.05
Opening Song: "Goodies" - Ciara

I spent most of my day being complimented and stalked since I opted to wear my sexy fishnet shirt to school... HOT! The day started off with AP Psych; the whole class participated in an interactive survey of ethics and personal values when it came to topics like sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. Of course, I had some of the more extreme opinions; I can be such a superfreak sometimes.

After that, I went to Weight Training and one of the skinnier guys was thrilled because he gained 30 pounds in three months. He's so lucky. After all that work, I've actually lost 6 pounds. GRRR.

Then, I went over to the Media Center to do some research on Sir Walter Raleigh (for Mrs. McCann's class) and to my dismay, the media specialist, who I've known and talked to for years, kept calling me "Arron." *sigh* I know exactly who she was talking about: Jackie's little brother who has a thing for leather. Oh well, I've even made that mistake before (while looking through my yearbook).

After school, Rice Lady, ManEater, Zach, and I headed off to the HMS Pinafore rehearsal, where we worked on blocking and such. In other words, JiMBO was on his feet for 2 hours straight in his squared-toed snakeskin shoes (oh yeah, HOT!). Rice Lady kept asking me why I had to wear those uncomfortable shoes and after the heat from the stage lights finally seeped into my brain, I could only reply, "Pretty shoes, pretty shoes!" Well, that's just the price of beauty, y'all.


So around 4:45PM, Rice Lady and I left the rehearsal and went into the lobby where we magically walked into STOMP! The Step Squad was doing some loud chanting and stomping and such and they wouldn't leave anyone the hell alone. Everyone went outside just to avoid the noise!

So... they came outside and said, "You know you want to hear us!" Uh... no, I don't. We were trying to avoid you, actually. After bugging me all day, they convinced to join in with one of their Step Squad games ("Gigolo"). It was hilarious 'cause they put on me on the spot for my own special chant and dance... had ManEater and Rice Lady laughing like crazy. FUN... but I wish the indoor track team wouldn't have come outside at the exact moment that I decided to act a-fool.

At home I worked more on my stripper routine, doing cartwheels and forward flips, using my couch as a pommel horse. But since I've been having so much difficulty designing a rock-solid routine, I actually wrote down a list of all the moves in my arsenal that I can remember: walk on hands, worm, split-kick flip, boogaloo spin, Raven step, bop aerial, front handspring, jump-side kick, backward roll, Light Years lieutenant, bicep pump, Love Boat wrenches, Rhythm Nation slide and spin, cossack dance, toe-touch, one-arm push-ups, etc.

And most surprisingly, I found an "old" piece of paper while cleaning up my room; apparently, I dreamt about "goin' Jackie Chan" on John L 'cause he kept trying to hug me. Although John hardly ever (aka never) appears in my subconscious, it seems like whenever he does, he gets his ass kicked.

The only other dream I remember where he showed up was back in the ninth grade: I was the school bully and I was prowling around the woods like a panther, looking for my prey. Then I spotted "the Tall One," and I said to myself, "That Lucia kid'll be an easy target. Muahahahaha!" So I tackled him and demanded that he give up that lunch money... when I woke up, all I could do was laugh... and laugh some more.

So, what did I learn today? I learned that, as that Disorder Survey said, I do "like to dress provocatively to get attention." I did, it worked, it felt soooo grrreat! So what if I'm a bit narcissistic, it's part of what keeps me going. This is JiMBO Esquire, signing off.

Nobody Crosses JiMBO Esquire!

Original Air Date: 01.11.05
Opening Song: "Rip Her to Shreds" - Blondie

*JiMBO grabs his hair and screams* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Why do people insist on pissing me off nowadays?

Whew. Today I was shocked and hurt in Yearbook class. Here's what happened: Queen and I were working out our pages since I'm doing a story and interview segment for my "Teacher's Lounge" feature. While we were examining the page opposite hers, we saw a plain-looking page with some pics and stories. Well, at first I was impressed by Stefanie's commitment and writing skills UNTIL I actually read the stories and realized something...

I WROTE THESE STORIES!!! All my words... that skeezer just tacked her byline on my stories! I wanted to put my fist through a monitor but the only thing that I could let come out of my mouth was "Oh NO SHE DIDN'T!" (this is school, after all). I was fuming for a good 2 minutes but I had to work on another page so I brushed it off. I'll get her later.

On a much brighter note, I asked Autumn to go to Senior Prom with me... she said "Yes," if you were wondering. BOOOO-YAH! But then she started howling like a werewolf during Lunch; I said that she can do at the dance only (and I do mean ONLY) if there's a full moon that night. I'm pretty sure Shannon's goin' with EJ, so I told Rice Lady that she should ask one of them young bucks if they wanna go... Freshman Doug's name came up but that would just be strange. "Is that your date or your son down there?"

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Moderate
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Later, at Drama Rehearsal (for HMS Pinafore, the new musical) I told Rice Lady that I was going with Autumn, and then Rice Lady told me that her parents told her brother that if he couldn't find a prom date, then he should take one of his sisters. Eek! If you're gonna do that, you might as well show up to Prom barefoot, banjo in-hand. For real.

What'd I learn today? I learned that there are people who will stoop as LOW as plagiarism nowadays! Really, I don't care that she put my stories on her page... I just don't appreciate her taking my byline. RRRRRRRRrr. Also, I learned that Autumn and I have been through a lot together and I'm so glad that I asked her (we have known each other since Kindergarten, when I had a crush on her). So, we've come full circle--"reunited and it feels so good."

Boooooooooo

Original Air Date: 01.09.05
Opening Song: "Barracuda" - Heart

I'd hate to say, "I told ya so," but this time, I was SO right! Ungh! How does that taste?! Mmmmmm...

For over a year I have said that Ashlee Simpson cannot sing because if you ever watched her reality show, you'd know that she never ONCE hit the high note on "Pieces Of Me" or any other song to be honest. In the recording studio segments, the directors were always saying that they didn't even know whether she actually could record it or not in the end... we never saw it.

But really, I wanna know what kind of dark sorcery those guys used to make her vocals sound awesome on the radio (I'll admit: I was rockin' out to La La aka "the kinky song") 'cause the few times that she hasn't lip-synched, she has sounded horrendous.

And now I have digital proof! During a terrible *covers ears* live performance (w/o the help of "backing vocals"), Ashlee was booed off the stage at the Orange Bowl for stinkin' up the place AND it's about time.


Ha ha. If you'd like to see the 30-sec footage for yourself, click here!

For the record, I was rockin' to that song when it was magically enhanced (good stuff):
You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be your french maid
Where I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna SCREAM!

QUIZ: What is your Soft-Toned Instrument?

Original Air Date: 01.08.05
Opening Song: "Storm" - Vanessa-Mae


You are a flute. You are social and like to take your chances. You like to spread your wings and experience new things. You are high in spirit. You also like to talk to many people about your views.
(BEAUTIFUL anime pics) What is your soft toned instrument?
brought to you by Quizilla
Spooky... JiMBO plays the clarinet.

Clouds in My Coffee / Lightstorm's Survey

Original Air Date: 01.07.05
Opening Song: "You're So Vain" - Carly Simon


Life is going by way too fast for JiMBO nowadays. In almost exactly six months, my friends and I will be graduating from high school... and since I'll probably attend a Journalism conference during the summer, I won't see them at all. *sigh* And the next yearbook deadline is this Friday, so I have to design, in addition to my two pages, three additional pages because some people are too lazy and inconsiderate to let anyone know that they don't plan on doing their assigned pages. Arrrrgh! I'll just do it all myself.

Only one person actually showed me (the copy editor) her page and I'm so happy she did because it had about 20 misspelled words, and it was "proofread" by an AP student/ex-Newspaper editor beforehand. That sends a chill up my spine... and not a good one! Oh yeah, little known secret about Mr. JiMBO: I was both a middle school and high school spelling bee champion, competing among our best and brightest AP students, and when I wrote college papers for my brother in the sixth grade, I always earned A's. But let's keep that on the D.L.

Lunch today was pretty fun and insane, as usual. Shannon has a digital camera (oh yes) and she and Penguin were just flashin' everybody like crazy. Penguin spent most of her camera time exploring the dark recesses of Shannon's nose. Super Mouse took our family photo, which looks shockingly like a KODAK or a Dawson's Creek ad... HOT!

After being invited to Jazmine's weave party (don't forget the hair glue, y'all), I went over to the auditorium and met Rice Lady's Hydra (microscopic creatures with tentacles that eat sea monkeys)... she hasn't named them yet. Then, as I set my stuff down on the wooden bench, I thought Truffles' dad was checkin' out my rock-hard ass. He was standing behind me, just tilting his head and staring. Then he asked, "Is it upside down?"

WHAT?! He was referring to the Chinese symbols on my skintight shirt... I didn't even know there were symbols on my back. I hope they didn't say anything embarrassing because he actually speaks Mandarin, so he would know.

Lastly let's point out the clouds in my coffee: The Frac told Carolyn and me that after only 2 days, two guys and one girl are quitting the musical! Great. Apparently, Allie (aka Dinkie) and Sweetpea will be stepping in. I'm scared, y'all; people are quitting before the scripts were even handed out... not very encouraging. Plus, Satan's been pretty chummy with me lately AND it's freakin' me out! This just might stand in the way of me disliking him. Damn.

What did I learn today? I learned that most people are not learning spelling and grammar in high school, but those are really helpful skills, especially if you plan on becoming a writer of some sort. Also, I, "Sammy the Sailor," have found out that I may not have the smallest part in the play... Boo-yah.

*Yoink!* Let's see, I just swiped this from Lightstorm 'cause I have time left for a quick survey:

FIRSTS
First best friend: Adrienne and Andrew
First real kiss: Sara
First break-up: Me and Jessica (my 3rd grade stalker... she fell down a flight of stairs)
First screen name: CakeEater99 (I was obsessed with those Mighty Ducks movies)
First self purchased album: Mortal Kombat Soundtrack (cassette)
First funeral: Never been
First pets: Never had any
First piercing/tattoo: None... oh no, I'm boring too
First credit card: Don't have one
First true love: Rocket
First enemy: Sirius (it was in preschool and he was pure EVIL... so I had to kick that ass, I was a wild one)
First big trip: Went to Detroit when I was 3
First music: The music of My Fair Lady, The Last Dragon, and Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo

LASTS
Last car ride: Went to pick up some Chinese yesterday
Last kiss: *scoff* I'd say 3 years ago
Last good cry: 9 years ago... I swore off crying that day (no feeling sorry for myself)
Last library book checked out: The Prophecies of Nostradamus
Last movie seen: Fat Albert (Hey Hey Hey!)
Last beverage drank: Pepsi
Last food consumed: Peanut Butter Crackers
Last crush: I'm embarrassed to say it 'cause they're younger than me *covers face*
Last phone call: called my Mama today
Last time showered: This morning... scrub-a-dub-dub
Last shoes worn: my ass-kicking boots ("round at the top")
Last item bought: Klymaxx CD, Bring it On, and Bringing Down the House
Last annoyance: Harouff throwing another hissy fit
Last time wanting to die: 9 years ago
Last time scolded: Sunday

RELATIONSHIPS
Who are your best friends? Adrienne, Janelle, Jeff, Alexis, Allison
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Nope, and I'm not really lookin'

STUFF
Where is your favorite place to shop? Best Buy, Suncoast, Spencer's, Waldenbooks
Do you do drugs? Only on New Year's, but I don't go bananas
What kind of shampoo do you use? Head & Shoulders (Yum.)
What are you most scared of? Being buried alive, Jello (it's too jiggly to be right)
What are you listening to right now? Boy Meets World on Disney
How many buddies are online right now? No idea
What would you change about yourself? My ears, my head, my ankles, and sometimes, my shoulders

FAVORITE
Color: Green.
Food: Teriyaki Chicken & Rice -or- Broccoli.
Boys' names: Caleb or Tony or William.
Girls' names: Cassandra or Callisto or Fairuza.
Subjects in school: English, Journalism, AP Psych, Band
Animals: Pandas and dogs.
Sports: Gymnastics, Basketball, Tennis, Soccer
Perfume: "Curious" by Britney Spears
Cologne: "Coolwater"

HAVE YOU EVER...
Given anyone a bath? *cringe* Yep, my great grandma... not as wonderful as you might think.
Done any drugs? a little alcohol, but I don't make it a habit
Bungee jumped? Nope
Made yourself throw up? Only when I was feeling sick and couldn't do it naturally
Skinny dipped? It hasn't been THAT hot outside yet
Been in love? Yeah
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? Probably when I was in elementary school
Photographed yourself in the nude? *covers mouth in shock* OMG, I did that.
Actually seen your crush naked? Not completely
Cried when someone died? I wanted to when Aaliyah died (so young & talented) but my tear ducts are all dried up
Lied? Sure
Fallen for your best friend? Hahaha, yeah but I never mentioned it
Been rejected? Once, but that's b/c she had a boyfriend at the time
Rejected someone? Many times, but I was tempted not to
Used someone? Sadly, I have
Done something you regret? No, I might not be who I am today if I went back and changed those things

CURRENT
Clothes: Blue jeans and a tie-dyed shirt (which I would never wear outside)
Music: Carly Simon's "You're So Vain"
Make-up: Just a little base... NO!
Annoyance: I'm sitting in a weird yoga-like way
Smell: I smell popcorn.
Favorite artist: Britney Spears (woo!) and David Bowie.
Desktop picture: Alfie promo
CD in player: A Stripper Mix I just made (lots of sexy tunes)
DVD in player: Mean Girls
Color of toenails: White.

LAST PERSON...
You touched: Rice Lady
Hugged: Super Mouse Shannon
You IMed: I don't do that
You kissed: Amber

WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
Kill: Nobody deserves that, not even my archnemesis
Look like: not Allen Strange! I'd say Denzel Washington

RANDOM
In the morning I am: Stumbling my way into the shower to wake up
All I need is: me and the voice in my head that keeps me going
I dream about: School and friends from school (and it's always nighttime or stormy in my dreams!)
What do you notice first: In a person, legs... HOT!
Last person you danced with: Brittany, Kristy, and 'em.
Who makes you laugh the most: Rice Lady (Carolyn)
Who makes you smile: Shannon and Alexis
Who has a crush on you: Hmmm... lots of young bucks but I think that's illegal in 48 states

NUMBER...
Of times I have had my heart broken: Twice
Of hearts I have broken: One, but I fixed it right away
Of guys I've kissed: I will say this, I've never french-kissed a guy
Of girls I've kissed: 4
Of continents I have lived in: Just this one
Of tight friends: I'd say about 15 close friends

*sighs with relief* That didn't hurt at all.

It betta' be wrapped, Yo!

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DREAM MARATHON: "Come On Down!" / "Extra Credit" / "Band Brawl"

Original Air Date: 01.02.05
Opening Song: "I Have A Dream" - ABBA


Dream #1: "Come On Down!"
Tina Fey (from Saturday Night Live) comes to visit Northeast Senior High to deliver a speech in front of everyone in the auditorium. She asks for 10 volunteers to come forward. When they do, the room transforms into Ms. Kerschner's classroom. Among the 10 volunteers are Teena, Alexis, and Jeff. Teena, clad in an oversized lumberjack shirt, has the world's biggest smile on her face and she looks like she is floating. Alexis is giggling and Jeff is listening to a portable CD player (not something he does in real life).

Well, Tina Fey gives out the prizes to them and it turns out to be everyone's class schedules. Jeff starts complaining because he only has 5 classes this year and he wants more. So then I show him my schedule and it's full of ridiculously easy courses like "How to play DDR 101" and "How to Build Stuff." We talk more about that and Carlise eavesdrops on the entire conversation, but I don't mind.


Dream #2: "Extra Credit"
I'm still in Ms. Kerschner's classroom. She finally comes in and gives the class an extra credit homework assignment. Our mission, if we choose to accept it, is to go to the location on the map she has given everyone. It looks a lot like an amusement park map 'cause it's bright yellow and green.

All of a sudden, it's nighttime and I'm outside driving around in the rain along a country road. I look at the map and make a right turn directly into the woods (no road). I then find myself on a muddy trail that goes at least 60 feet underground. I choose to cautiously drive all the way to the bottom because I know that Marianne's waitin' for me.


Dream #3: "Band Brawl"
In the beginning it's early in the afternoon and I'm outside playing football with some friends behind the school. I go inside and it's suddenly nighttime again (what else is new?). I'm in the cafeteria in my marching band uniform and our band is having a battle with a rival band. People are using trombones as weapons and cymbals as shields. Everyone's throwing punches at each other!

Meanwhile, on the other side of the cafeteria, the Pom Squad and the Color Guard girls are taking some glamor photographs. In walks Mr. Kispert (our school principal), he takes one look at them and asks me, "Why are they dressed like a bunch of skanks?" and I just crack up laughing.

That's when I wake up. If you were wondering exactly why I had three separate dreams, I woke up at 7AM today so I could get ready for work but I had intense back pains so I couldn't move at all and my throat was so dry I couldn't call for help so I just said, "Screw it. I'm calling in sick... Cough." And I just stayed there until help arrived eight hours later.

What do I think of all this? I'm not really sure, but I have become more violent in my dreams lately. Weird. But I do think that Tina Fey probably popped up into my dream 'cause I fell asleep watching her on SNL's "Weekend Update" sketch.