Don't Go Into the Light!

Original Air Date: 10.09.04
Opening Song: "Haters" - Hilary Duff

Today may have been the weirdest day of work in recent memory. First of all, I was paired up with a guy who seemed like my twin... which is cool, but why are all of my twins such Good Samaritans? If I'm the evil one, I've been doing a lousy job of it! It was fun working with someone who has morals and is literate; we had fun. Also, the Washington Redskins Cheerleaders were camped out in front of the store, selling something... probably themselves. I didn't know they were cheerleaders when they walked to their cars and I'm pretty sure none of the little boys around the store did either. Those girls were wearing near-thongs and knee-high hooker boots... it's not Halloween! This is a grocery store, girls, it's sacred!

Speaking of Halloween, I didn't realize how many Halloween "haytas" (as "Ling-Ling" would say) there were out there. About 8 out of 10 of my customers today didn't celebrate it because they said it was EVIL... but they do love the Devil's candy. MMMMmmm...

Later into the afternoon, I sliced my finger under the conveyor belt and blood was just starting to ooze from my nail so I sprinted over to the bathroom, bought some bandaids and dressed the wound. Then, I got right back to work. The scariest thing that happened all day occurred around 6PM, after I'd been working for 10 hours straight (no lunch break) so I was completely out of it. When I was walking an elderly couple to their car, the husband's legs just went limp and he just went down in the middle of the road. I was so freaked out 'cause he was grabbing his heart and I'm sorry but... he already looked DEAD-- his eyes were faint blue, his hair was white and he had a huge grin on his face as he looked at the sky and gasped for air. All I could do was say, "Dude, don't you quit on me." I'll blame this on the fatigue I endured, because all I could think was, "They're gonna blame me for this, I just know it! Maybe they don't have to know... Where could I get my hands on some cement?!" To make a long story short, I had to hoist him up and put him in his car. Same ol', same ol'.

After work, I checked my messages and called back Super Mouse Shannon. She was wondering if I still wanted to go see "Shaun Of The Dead" (with Chelsey & Lucas). I would have, but I had no time to go home and make myself beautiful all over again... so that was just out of the question. I hoped they had a great time because that movie has only made like $8 million and it's been out for over a month. (that's so sad)

* On Sunday the National Honor Society (about 15 of us) got together and cleaned up the Stoney Brook Village community. After doing it, I only have one thing to say: Ew. Really, they're livin' in filth, I tell you! I dug through the dirt and the grime and found everything from beer bottles to bags of Cheetos to broken glass to the bottom of a schooldesk to even, a Winnie the Pooh Soundtrack (Heffalumps and Woosels) on cassette (tr-ash). My group members [Chelsey, Mijung, Alexis] were pissed because the other people were posing for pictures as opposed to actually working. They're available for photographs because they're not even trying to find trash. We were unavailable for snapshots 'cause we were underground at the time... covered in spiderwebs and dusty Heinekens. I would laugh my ass off if, in one of the pictures, you could see my hand in the corner reaching up from under the ground with a handful of muddy garbage. Funny... but really, I didn't come for recognition, I came to work and beautify. Yeah, that sounded so good.

What did I learn? I learned that community service never loses its effect-- it's still good for the soul. When one of the residents yelled, "Thank you!" it was very flattering. And one more thing, when you reach a certain age, please DO NOT PARK AT THE FAR END OF THE LOT (especially if your legs just might give on the walk back)!!!