FEVER DREAM SEQUENCE: Malfunction!

Original Air Date: 11.15.04
Opening Song: "My Prerogative" - Britney Spears

It's around 7:00PM and I'm getting ready to go to Best Buy to get my computer fixed. I look down from the balcony and at my door I see Mr. and Mrs. LeFrancois handing out fliers for The Odd Couple (fall school play).

I almost sneak away but I'm spotted when Mr. LeFrancois calls my name. Reluctantly, I go to the door and it must have taken me a LONG time because it's magically daytime. Now at the door I find Shannon, Janelle, John, and two guys that I don't know. Jokingly, I tell 'em all "Get out!" and shut the door, and John recognizing the line from MTV's CRiBS.

Then, I'm standing outside on a football field, practicing some advanced Marching Band maneuvers, as if I'm preparing for battle.

Next I find myself in a huge classroom, with six rows of people facing one another (3 and 3) and a huge gap in the middle for the teacher to stand. I'm in the front seat of the 3rd row, sitting next to my spotter (Phi) from Weight Training class. On the other side of the room, a bunch of the guys from WT class (and some strangers) sit, talking and laughing.

Without warning, they all take their shirts off and toss them at me and start cheering and whistling. I throw the shirts to the girls behind me. They go crazy with excitement; the guys seem disappointed that I didn't keep the shirts for myself. Then, they threw a shirt to my spotter and he took a big whiff of the shirt and everyone was just grossed out.

Later, I'm in Mr. Gast's room and he's barking orders incoherently. Alexis is hanging on his every word, fascinated with whatever the hell he's talking about. I get up and walk out of that class.

So I walk into the next room and take off my shirt. The room looks like a FootLocker with shoe displays and scoreboards. Janelle's there with me and she's so excited to see my body that she feels me up. Starting to know this is a dream 'cause that's very unrealistic, unless I woke up with breasts.

Then I exit the room and the hallway looks exactly like the Marley Station mall. I pass Dan, Heather, and Girl so I figure that I'm still in school. Since I need to get to the Health Room fast, I get into the little silver elevator and I'm joined by 2 female "teachers." As we go further down I feel like I'm bungee jumping. I start floating in the air, my head gets closer and closer to the ceiling and the three of us start being crushed by elevator.

The elevator stops descending; the door opens but we're not on the ground yet. Since we're only about 20 feet above the ground, I leap out of the elevator and land on my feet. I tell the ladies to jump out once I'm on the ground, "one at a time." I catch them when they jump out and then I go over to the escalator.

At this point, I know I'm in the mall so I go up the escalator to find Suncoast (the movie store). While I'm on the steps, my legs collapse so I'm lying down helpless on the moving stairs behind some women. One of them's a JiMBO fan who recognizes me for my "caramel skin and curly hair". I blush and tell the people around me about the elevator malfunction and how this is the last time I'm coming to this mall.

When I say that, the upstairs lights on one side of the mall go off and a ghetto-looking guy's beating a customer to death. I figure I better get out of there.

It's Pandemonium 2004! Clerks and cashiers and shop owners brutally assault their customers. I cut through Spencer's and Jamie Foxx (the owner) tries to impale me with a pink umbrella but I flip over him and run past the jewelry store where Jennifer Lopez (the clerk) spills a box of gold earrings onto the floor, causing a whole gang of old people to fall over like in the Home Alone movies.

I finally make it outside where all of a sudden I AM Jennifer Lopez and I'm being chased through the jungle by Puff Daddy himself. In the top right corner, I see a 30-second countdown. I throw off my grass skirt and start shaking my bare booty (but it looks more like my own booty than hers) to distract him so I can then hop over the wooden fence with only two seconds left on the clock

At the end, it was like a video game; I could see all of the chapters (my adventures) on a screen at once. For example, the Marching Band training sequence was called "Back," and I had the choice of saving or quitting. I quit and woke up, dying from heat.