The Haunted Hallway

Original Air Date: 10.18.04
Opening Song: "Dragula" - Rob Zombie

I came to school on our Friday off (Teacher Inservice) to prepare for the Haunted Hallway fundraiser. After kicking a 24-hour virus, I assembled and painted my set in less than four hours with the help of Gordon (aka Nicole), Heather, and Todd. At that time, my character was going to be a demented Jack-In-The-Box. But by show time, I turned more into a court jester. Autumn was going to participate too, but she bitchslapped one of her group members at the previous meeting and that group just fell apart.

During the two-hour break before the show, I went to the dollar store and picked up a couple of flashing, glow-in-the-dark Urchin balls and I decided to juggle them... in the dark. Hah. I went back to the school and slapped on a coat of white face paint and sat in my box staring at a strobe light, which would explain the people walking funny whenever they reached my box. For the most part, my act was a hit and I was referred to as "The Juggler," the lighter part of the show, which was great because I wasn't under pressure to scare people. After being in one of the scariest rooms last year when I portrayed the EXTREMELY physical role of The Sexecutioner, I think a break was well-deserved.

I was especially popular among the kiddies who were blown away by my juggling prowess. The only thing that ticked me off was the tour guides (*cough*cough* Ashley) stealing the few scares I might actually get. Ashley would say, "Don't be afraid. His name is James... go ahead, say 'Hi' to him," and then they would, causing my heart to just melt. Damn that Ashley. And during the late shows, at least one person in EVERY group recognized me and had to yell "HEY!" The most embarrassing one was when Marianne and Jeff came in and she was like, "James, is that you? Is that James Burkhalter?" and he happily said, "That is James!" So I started cracking up (without dropping the balls) and couldn't help but properly greet them. It was unbelievable how many people recognized me in pitch blackness, with only my body and a covered up face to go on.

The huge controversy (beside the pre-show aerosol fumes disaster) was definitely the issue of unwanted touching. As performers, we're not supposed to touch the people going through the Haunted Hallway, but frankly, they were all over us. When the smaller kids were coming through, one parent assured her daughter, "It's OK. You can go up and touch him." OH NO YOU CAN NOT! *snap* The middle-aged men were the ones who most frequently touched my arms while I was juggling. Weird. The only one who really annoyed me was some girl from NHS who reached over and smacked one of my balls while it was in motion. What a bi-atch!

And I wasn't the only uncomfortable one: my clarinet girls were gettin' manhandled in the lobby. Posing as a coven of wild vampiresses in a forest, they were getting punched, pushed out of the way and close to being stepped on!

When things started to get really boring, I ducked into the dressing room and called Shannon. She had just gotten home from her new job and such; too bad she couldn't make it to the Haunted Hallway. I was actually happy to have Angela around during HH; she helped me figure out a way to perform a one-man show at the castle entrance and add some credibility & culture to the show (juggling).

The down point of the day was during the break when, after being at the school for ten hours, someone's mother knocked on the Dressing Room door in search of "The Juggler." She talked to me for awhile about my act and about her daughter and how her daughter just joined Drama although she does Step and Track. I have insight because I'm doing eight extra-curriculars in addition to Drama (usually I'm doing 11). Then, she said, "You look... healthy. Why don't you join the Track team?" Healthy? Are you calling me fat? Great, perfect end to a perfect day. BTW, I was on the outdoor track team for a year and I was awesome at practice but I would hyperventilate before the actual competitions.

What did I learn? People can be cruel and malicious and not even know it. In the parking lot after the final HH performance, I met up with the girl that smacked my ball, and she said she was just trying to give everyone a High Five. Sure...