Theme Song: "Before We Say Goodbye" - 2Gether
I wake up this morning with a bittersweet taste on my lips. On the bright side, I finally get to go home and be near a REAL CITY, but on the downside, I have to say some heavy Goodbye's today, to both my boyfriend and my kick-ass dorm room where I've voluntarily stayed for two years.
Into my apple-scented bathroom I stumble, and as expected, my senses are accosted with the first of a series of flashbacks. Dry, dark-red splotches of blood appear all over the sink: "How DOES he cut himself EVERY MORNING with an electric shaver?" *sad shake of head* After hopping in and out of the shower, I towel off and instinctively walk to the corner, where I'm no longer greeted by my beautiful scale, MAXIMUM WEIGHT 250!! "Sorry, I stepped on it wrong" *M'hmm* "I'll buy you a new one." *Yeah, a crappy one from the Dollar Store.*
Still wrapped in a towel, I hear a tap-tap-tapping at my chamber door--the inside door--so it must be a Lahm resident... or DPS. I fling on some fabric and open it. I'm greeted by Kyle, who has come for my vacuum... and to say Goodbye, of course. ;-D Desperate to spend as much as time with him as possible before I go home, I walk him back to Patrick, where there's one last makeout session for the road, then we part ways outside the Art Gallery, where he'll be working all summer.
Trying to keep a smile on my face, I walk back to Lahm, sullen and alone. And now I have to say Goodbye to my home (not just a room) of 2 years.
*inhales* "I've finally figured out what your room smells like: Bubble gum!!" "Actually, Em, I think it's more like apple-cinnamon." *Thank You, Katy.*
Looking around, I see all my possessions stacked in boxes six feet high. *chuckles* Wow, if these walls could talk. *An intense moaning chorus rings out from every wall.* QUIET, WALLS!! XD I roll up my Dance Dance Revolution mats, and hear a hesitant but enthusiastic voice, "Can you teach me to dance?" *sad shake of head* The distinct sound of a 20-year-old girl screaming comes tumbling after. I think with a smile, "Shaffy's water broke... on my goddamn floor?"
Exhausted from the packing all-nighter and the lack of breakfast, I decide to sprawl across a eurofuton-shaped hole in the center of my room. "Your couch hates me!" *But I love IT! Don't make me choose.* "That's a big boy, he should know not to sit on a couch!" *$250 down the drain.* I get a little comfortable, stroking my imaginary lover(s) or as I might say, channeling the Ghosts of Penis Past. "James Burkhalter, you have a man in there? Then why the fuck are you on the phone with me!" *Good point. Click.*
Into a stack of multicolored crates I place my most priced possession: my DVD collection. QUEER AS FOLK NIGHT!! "Damn, you're practically a Blockbuster." *No late fees.* My hand lingers on the Comedy archive. "So, how DID that movie end?" *Her boyfriend died, came back, ate Chuck, took her to the Prom, went to Heaven, and lived Happily Blah Blah Blah.*
As I run a Swiffer disposable across the carpet, I remember the good ol' days and my old-fashioned methods of cleaning. "Your rug's always so clean, what do you use?" *Well, I just take a roll of scotch tape, tear off strips and every other night, I use it to remove hair and dirt.* "I definitely don't have the patience for all that." *No one does.* A roll of scotch tape? Damn, I really was insane. *scoff* WAS?
Finally, I clean out the fridge for the last time, throwing out my omnipresent pizza boxes from La Bella Italia. Down on all fours, I frantically wipe the shelves with grease-cutting detergent. I look to my left, and hear myself saying, "I hate to say this, but I think I'm falling for you." And really, what IS the worst that could happen?
*kissing noises* Beep-Beep-Beep!
"Well, aren't you popular tonight?"
Incoming TXT message: What r U doing right now?
Reply: Um, my boyfriend. And u?
Once my mama arrives, we load up the car, and I take one last look at the room, simply soaking in its 2-year history of greatness. Will the next tenants live up to it? Luckily, I've already had the pleasure of meeting the future residents of Lahm.10: they're female underclassmen who were AMAZED with my impromptu tour during SpringFest (even though they dropped by while I was lying on the floor, eating ice cream, watching Sabrina, knocking back a couple bottles of Smirnoff Ice). The girls seem nice and I'm sure they'll take good care of you.
Goodbye, Lahm.10, we had a fun ride! "What's in 'The Drawer'?" *Oh, you don't wanna know.* =D
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