Theme Song: "Battle Without Honor Or Humanity" - Tomoyasu Hotei (from Kill Bill: Vol. 1)
The entire building is silent. All I can hear is the desperate clink of lightbulbs on the verge of death. As I make my rounds through the asylum's ominous hallways and I see a vibrant splash of color on its whitewashed walls. It's red--BLOOD red! Dun Dun DUN...
In a flash, a wave of people races toward me from all directions; by the looks on their contorted faces I can tell that they're scared shitless. I also see that they are all Asian stereotypes but mainly the Godzilla-fearing tourists I've seen on Mystery Science Theater. The creepy chick from The Grudge coolly saunters past me and steps into the iron-fenced elevator, and the camera zooms in our her bad-ass combover with only one eye visible. Shortly after she steps inside, Kane (former WWF wrestler, "acto--Hahahaha" in See No Evil) stomps his way down the hall carrying a giant sledgehammer.
She doesn't run! She just stands there and screams as Kane enters the elevator and literally rips her apart. I don't see all the brutal acts committed but I see her parts soar out of the elevator and hit the wall with a ((SPLAT))... her face, her scalp, her arm, and her leg are left in a neat pile. I start running the other way where I find another psychopath, except this one is wearing a labcoat. While all the citizens of Tokyo are fleeing the scene, only Meg and Dave are attempting to fight this behemoth off. Before I can act, Meg's signature Midget Sneak Attack of Doom has been reversed and the ogre whacks her in the head with a rusty pipe; it brands the skull. The blow plus the impact from the fall leaves her looking like a fractured mannequin.
From behind, Dave bashes him with a 2-x-4. Without thinking, I run towards the fight, deliver a good snap jab and side kick the psycho in the stomach; he falls down but in mid-fall, he manages to slam me in the chest with a sledgehammer. A disgusting popping noise tells me that my ribcage just collapsed and I don't have much longer to live... I'm definitely bleeding internally. Dave keeps the guy on the ground and strangles him with the pipe.
Through the pain, I sprint down the hall into the auditorium, looking for the cavalry. While I'm there I do find Jai (wearing a red corset, black skirt, and thigh-high spiked boots no less), who has just gotten back from a dance and is drunk off her ass. Since I feel that copper taste rising up my throat, I limp to a table, chug a giant water bottle, gargle and spew blood into a bucket like Rocky Balboa. I drag her into the hallway with me since I can't really talk and I know that she'll kick some major ass, but when we arrive at the first scene, she stands there frozen and nonchalantly says, "You've gotta be kiddin' me." Right back at ya!
This fight scene occurs about a minute before Meg was injured/killed (Deja Vu) so I wanna do everything I can to save her, but literally OUT OF NOWHERE, Kim and some tall, geeky guy with glasses and a cape roll up on us. Kim sizes up Meg and says gleefully, "Master reeeeally wants you 'cause ya thick and ya cool." WHAT?! The post-beatdown adrenaline kicks in and I go carnival ape crazy on the two of them while Jai helps Dave protect Meg. And that's when I wake up like I have so many nights this semester, with the revolting taste of blood on my lips...
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