Theme Song: "How To Make A Monster" - Rob Zombie
Thursday. It began like any other day. I woke up, hopped in the shower, ate breakfast, brushed my pearly whites, and speedwalked to the Post Office before ending up where I always do, in Breidenbaugh Hall. I've been looking forward to this class, The Dream Of The Artifical Wo/Man: Golems & Cyborgs from Adam to Blade Runner, for about a year now, and I'm actually excited to have Temma as a professor again. I make my way around the oh-so-familiar corner, stroll into the buzzing classroom, and the first thing I see is...
Danny. *eyes ridiculously widen* My mouth gapes open uncontrollably. My feet are glued to the floor. My face is on fire. I can feel the blood scorching my cheek. My heart sinks into my stomach. The word "fuck" falls out of my mouth, as I immediately turn and walk out of the room, hoping my invisibility pill will kick in. I check the classroom number. 311, it's the right place. I catch my breath and walk back in. I go up to a random girl and ask her if it's Eng331, praying she'll reply "Nope. Sorry," but instead she says with a smile, "Yeah, I think so."
Shit. I take a seat in the front row, wipe the sweat off my forehead, and let my mind start racing. WHAT the FUCK is he doing here? I've always been good at checking the class rosters to make sure this would never happen. Why THIS one? Why my FAVORITE one? I wrote my final paper on this topic for Temma's Sex & Love in Jewish Lit class during sophomore year, "Machismo and the Iron Man," for which I received much praise. I'm excited to take a class about something that has ALWAYS GENUINELY interested me, the blurred boundaries between man and machine. Hell, I sacrificed my Animation class, Diasporic Dance, and the Law In Film, just to take it (due to a shared time slot). *exhales* I'M. NOT. DROPPING. He's not gonna chase me away; if he's uncomfortable, then let him drop it.
It turns out, even though he hadn't signed up for the class that day, he decided to stick around and make it official. Well... I guess IT's ON! A couple weeks later, during an Intro to Directing casting session, a classmate I just met named Amanda (who's also in Temma's class), starts an interesting conversation with the group. She talks about how there is so much palpable drama in her corner of the classroom because of certain people's know-it-all comments during class. Interesting. Then she starts talking to Sarah about this "really nice guy" in her poetry class. Could it be...?
She turns to me and asks, "You know a guy named Danny? Oh yeah, he's in Temma's class with us!" *pause* I can't help but laugh and force myself to smile and simply say, "Yes, I know him." She goes on to tell us how, although he's so smart, the girls in her poetry class make fun of him for having a really high voice (lisp), and that they don't listen to a word he says. I can't help but feel ANGRY that people would treat him like that: it's one thing for ME to do it, but for complete strangers to do it, that makes my blood boil! But that would just be a step backwards.
I pull Amanda aside and briefly sum up the age-old story in one concise confession, "Danny and I haven't spoken to one another in two years. I had a crush on him. He had a girlfriend in Canada. It all ended badly. So, please, don't defend him in front of me." It's always been easy for me to feel sympathy toward him and that's my fatal weakness. He's always been a pro at playing the victim, and although for the longest time, I felt that I was wronged and quickly demoted from friend to TOTAL STRANGER because of a perfectly INNOCENT crush... I'm not going to play the victim card anymore. 
Over the past few years, I've become both selective and aggressive, and I have learned to accept myself as someone who has flaws, who definitely will not be liked by absolutely everyone. But I'm honest now. He can be too, but at this point, I really could care less, because what he needs in this world is a friend... and that sure-as-hell is never going to be me--too much damage has been done to repair anything resembling a friendship. I'm no longer on the defensive, I'm not afraid to stare him dead in the eye, and I no longer feel that venomous sting whenever I'm forced to utter that name for whatever reason. Well, if someone has to play the Monster, then why NOT me?
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