Theme Song: "Gonna Make Ya Sweat (Everybody, Dance Now!)" - C&C Music Factory
Previously on Chaos Under The Big Top: The College Years... After performing in both Meg and Kyle's choreographed numbers at the fall Dance Ensemble Recital, James was approached by Kyle about trying out for his new hip-hop dance squad, known around campus as the BOMB Squad. Since Symphony Band no longer dominates his schedule, James decides to go out for the team.
Friday afternoon rolls around and I head over to the BOMB Squad tryouts in Plank Gym. I stroll into the room tight rehearsal space, wall-to-wall with dancers, and just concentrate on my stretching and giving a good first performance. With his boombox, Kyle walks in and has the current squad members show us hopefuls a 30-second routine set to JoJo's The Way You Do Me. Looking at the sharp Hip-Hop movements, I realize that I'm actually in my element, and my precision and rigidity will work to my advantage today. After 20 minutes of instruction, I already have the choreography memorized, can literally perform it with my eyes closed (as Kyle instructs us to do), and many of the current members tell me "I've got it."
Despite their assurances, between now and the callbacks on Monday afternoon, I'm so nervous about remembering the choreography because I know I have off-days when I just suddenly forget what I'm doing, and I'd hate for that to happen on Monday even though I made a good first impression. Come Monday, I show up again, and one-by-one each dancer is called into the practice room for a private audition with BOMB Squad co-captains Kyle & Magic. After waiting about 45 minutes in the main gym, I'm finally called in, I do my thang, and go home. At 11:03PM, I, along with four others, receive an email entitled "Tryout Results":
Congrats, You have been selected as members of B.O.M.B. Squad!!!
We have practice tomorrow at 6:30 in Apple. Please be there.
Congrats again,
Kyle Archer
B.O.M.B. Squad Co-Captain
WOO, I'm goin' to Hollywood! Well, not really, but you know what I mean. :-D At Tuesday's practice, Kyle tells us about our upcoming gig this Sunday (aka 5 days from now) at the Chapel. He and Magic teach us a totally different routine nicknamed "the Praise Dance," set to an entire song--Kirk Carr's If I Tell God, to be exact. M'hmmm... you think you know what I'm gonna say, right? ~_- Well, surprisingly, I'm OK with Gospel music; it's fun to dance to but the hardest thing for me to do is to not burst out laughing at the lyrics... but that's just because I'm an autonomous guy who doesn't like to bother God with his problems. But it's not my opinion on Gospel music that makes the routine hard for me to learn, it's the fact that the song repeats the same line OVER and OVER again with the same cadence, yet we have different moves each time. Seriously, Kyle clarifies movements by saying, "We do this at the 7th 'If I tell...'" Yeah... that's gonna take some getting used to.
Since the captains request that everyone wear black sweatpants, Joe starts a carpool to the outlets. And thus, the quest for the black sweatpants begins. In addition to Joe, we've got Atlang and... someone who's name I swear I'll eventually learn but let's just call her Binya-Binya for now. Come and let's play together in the bright, sunny weather. Let's all go to Gullah-Gullah island... :-D But let me tell ya, after the guys and girls split up to find pants, it's MUCH harder to find some cheap black sweatpants than I ever would've guessed. The first store we try, Big Dog (Not Little Dog, Not Reasonably-Priced Dog), has 'em On Sale for $35 (Reg. Price $50). Pfft! We can do better than that. Old Navy's a steal at $15, but they've only got Navy and Grey. Buzzkill.
Old Navy's my kind of store, because seriously, I can't fathom the idea of paying over $25 for a T-shirt or over $50 for jeans. I end up buying 2 shirts at $4 each: Stuntman-in-Training (since that has always been one of my dream jobs) and a black & red flaming-basketball shirt. That one reminds me of one of my favorite Sega games, NBA Jam; I loved it 'cause as a kid, I was the only one who could dominate that game using the awkward Joystick controller. Following the trail of caution tape outside leads us to our next possibility, Puma. Immediately, Joe finds a pair of raggedy black sweatpants with a tiny puma on the top and overwhelmed with speechlessness, presents me with the price-tag. From the quality, I'm expecting it to say $10.00. Guess what that shit said?! $79.99!! Can you believe that? And at that moment, I was done with those greedy bastards. THIS is why I physically only go clothes shopping every 2 years! We end up shamelessly trekking back to where we started, Big Dog, and spending $35 on sweatpants. *cough-cough* Rip-Off.
Tomorrow's Sunday so of course, I have to force myself out of bed, shower, shave, and get in a dancing mood... all while I'm running on 2 hours of sleep, Hooray! The day gets off to a good start. Much to my surprise, when I walk into the church, I don't burst into a steaming pile of ash, which is always a good thing. However, throughout the entire service, the only thing I can think about is Dane Cook's standup on Catholicism. Word-for-word, I'm watching the service and seeing all these parallels. "I've made SNACKS!" Except this time, the pastor lifts up a loaf bread and rips it in half with his bare hands. Ew. Carbs. ;-) And people come up and drink from "the common cup." Double Ew. And just when I thought it couldn't get anymore unsanitary up in there, the reverend says something and everyone BUT ME starts knowingly moving around, shaking hands and hugging. Two total strangers come towards me and I'm thinking, "AHHH! They're touching me. Shoo, go away! Hissssss!" This does not stop them. :-( The service gets a little better when the pastor tells us the story about Jesus, David, and JAMES, LOL, because I'm so self-absorbed that I enjoy being in the story. Yes, of course, I know God didn't invite me to pray with him on the mountaintop. I'm not insane... *twitch-twitch*
I look around the pews and notice exactly WHO is actually at the service: BOMB Squad, Gospel Choir, Handbell Choir... seriously, there are only FIVE regular worshipers and the rest of us are just workin' the party. Speaking of which, the Gospel Choir is very impressive, especially Terrence. Unfortunately, during the sing-alongs, I can't sightread choral sheet music, so I just Milli-Vanilli my way through all that yinyang. Towards the end of the service, the BOMB Squad finally has their first performance, and we do a great job... even if the pastors repeatedly praise the Gospel Choir and never mention us and our demonic dancing again. M'hmm, I see how it is.
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