Theme Song: "Kernkraft 4000" - Zombie Nation
I vividly recall seeing an intriguing announcement in the Student Digest a few months ago. It advertised a new club's arrival on campus: the GAIA Pagan Society. Although I'm not a practicing Pagan anymore, I'm reminded of my middle school fascination with the religion, mainly with the Wiccan sect (which I've come to discover is basically PAGANISM-LITE: Just one calorie, not Pagan enough!). Other than the club's mere existence on campus, what comes as an even bigger surprise is the leader, "Forum Kyle." But then again, it IS always the quiet ones you have to look out for. After finding out that apparently, the Pagans were yelling at me (in a nice way) from across the street one day (I had my headphones in AS ALWAYS, so I was oblivious), I decide that I should attend a meeting to make up for it.
During my first meeting, it's pretty much just my friends and me (Katy, Em, Sara, Becky) yakking away about EVERYTHING but paganism; at this point, the group is still developing into something more organized. Two weeks later, Kyle decrees that today, we are having an EPIC TWO-PARTER meeting to discuss all the possible events brought up at the last meeting including the May Pole ceremony, Movie Nights, Pagan Pride Fest, Human Tours (LOL!), and of course, "petting furry things" (Don't say it, girl!) at the animal shelter. But with our luck, those damn Swift Boaters would spin it to say all Pagans eat baby kittens... which is soooo not true. RIGHT, guys...? *raises eyebrow*
At this meeting, I also get the pleasure of meeting the GPS advisor, Professor Emmons (aka Charlie). Great guy, verrry New Age, a member of the Green Party. Mmph. I say that 'cause I'm going door-to-door for Barack Obama tomorrow morning, WOO! There's talk of yoga regimens, Extra-Sensory Perception, and his wife, Penelope, and her trance possession blowout tonight. Party on. He helps us revise the club constitution *cringe*... after Katy and Em finished attacking Kyle's grammar 'til they were cross-eyed with anger.
5:30PM. Once the Two-Parter reaches its end, Katy, Kyle, Sara, and I walk over to the Bullet Hole. And since I'm the world's SLOWEST eater, we're there for like 2 hours talking about everything... but magically it always goes back to sex. *gasp!* I've said it before and I'll say it again, my girl Sara is from Planet Perv. After our oh-so-lonnnng conversation and after many "twitch moments" and shared cringes, Kyle now knows this to be true. And you know what the sad thing is? Even as we're all walking out the door, I know that although he's in SHOCK, he's only touched the tip of the sexually frustrated iceberg.
7PM. We drop a traumatized Kyle off at Lahm, and head over to the R.I.S.E. House for some ad-ult fun. *Tee-Hee* The three of us descend upon the common room (now occupied by some hopelessly awkward girls) and pop in the Queer As Folk: Season 5 DVD. Lo and behold, the very first scene: a gay foursome. Not a fourgy because an orgy requires 5 or more; I know, I had my expert fact checker look into it. Yeah... within 5 minutes, those girls go FLYIN' outta the room. "What's wrong? It's just a little gay sex, that's all." *sigh*
Towards the end of the disc, Sara points out something I never noticed before. "Isn't that Kyle's jacket?" What? "Oh my God, THAT LESBIAN IS WEARING KYLE'S JACKET, EEP!!" I pause the DVD as Katy and I simultaneously lean forward to verify it. THAT IS HIS JACKET, HAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAAAA!! Next thing you know, Sara's on her computer, asking me, "How do you spell EMERGENCY?" She decides that somehow we must CONVINCE him to come over, so she IM's him:Sara: "What kind of emergency should I put? *typing* James is passed out drunk--"9PM. Surprise of surprises, about 15 minutes later, he actually turns up on the doorstep. Sure, Katy would be dead by now, but oh well. Fortunately, his Serenity RPG *cringe* was called off, so he's free to be corrupted tonight. And thus, the reprogramming process begins. *reinserts Queer As Folk DVD* Zeig Heil! At some point in the show, Katy recruits myself and Kyle for her new Bi-Harem (even though I'm .5% and he's 2%), a group of bi-guys who she'd never share with other women. I'll allow it. :-D Eventually, Emily comes downstairs with a residual migraine and is sucked into our gay little world, calling dibs on every hot gay guy who pops on the screen. Too bad only 3 of them are ACTUALLY gay in real life... total buzzkill.
Katy: "Haha, he'll never believe THAAAT!"
Sara: "OK... Katy is passed out drunk and she won't wake up. I'm scared."
Katy: "Worth a shot."
12:15AM. After briefly returning home for some sodas, pretzels, and iPod-to-TV connectors, Queer As Folk Night turns into Always Sunny Night. Gotta say, I'm ADDICTED to that show, it's so deliciously crude and politically incorrect. And apparently, I'm not the only one. Around 2 o'clock in the AM, even Johnny Mac drops in and joins us on the couch.
3:30AM. Once we're packing everything up for tomorrow, Sara makes an interesting comment: "Kyle, you have broken your way into *evil grin* the inner circle. Wow, how did that happen?" And I gotta admit, I'm thinkin' the same thing. It's pretty damn rare. Personally, I've only quote-unquote known him for like a week, and yet he totally fits nicely into the group, usually you'd have to whore your way in by dating one of us... Oh well, it's good to make an exception every now and then. And as a token of congratulations, I let him lug my stuff back to Lahm, since he actually lives right down the strip from me. So, with that, I say, WELCOME TO THE DARKSIDE, my friend, MUAHAHAHAAHA! *cue the thunder & lightning*
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