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A Nasty Case of Stage Fight

Theme Song: "Mortal Kombat" - The Immortals A couple of months ago, I found myself lounging around the house with a rare Sunda...

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Time to DV8! (3.09)

Original Air Date: 11.05.2006
Theme Song: "ManEater" - Nelly Furtado


Time To DV8!

Tonight's the night! Coming to you live from Lahm.10,
it's DV8: JiMBO's EIGHTH Annual Halloween Party!
Get ready for a night of good movies, good food, and
the best friends a sex-crazed sociopath could ask for! :-P

Nelly Furtado's ManEater

Everybody look at me, me
I walk in the door, You start screaming
Come on everybody, Whatcha here for?
Move your body around like a nympho
Everybody get your necks to CRACK around
All you crazy people come on JUMP around
I want to see you all on your knees, knees
You either want to be with me or Be me!


SNAPSHOTS OF SOME PARTY PREPARATION





Even though I've been preparing for this soiree non-stop since 11PM last night, I've somehow managed to be running late. SHIT! Like a maniac, I'm ripping scotch tape off the area rug, dusting every surface in the room, and since I just took my shower, I'm half-nekked--granted, once I'm in full costume, I'll STILL be half-nekked. SHIT! Shortly before 8 o'clock, I get a call on my cell: "James?" And I'm sitting there on the edge of my... desk because the voice on the other line sounds exactly like Danny! Turns out to be Ambika, LOL! Sorry, Dan. Anyway, Ambika's the first to arrive, then comes Meg and SURPRISE OF SURPRISES, she has brought her mama. This has got to be a first, but I don't mind--my parties always include a dry bar (aka no booze)... I've always felt that if you NEED to drink in order to enjoy a party, then that is one shitty party... y'know, the kind where you've gotta have impaired judgment to not die of boredom/discomfort. Think Blue Note, LOL!

DV8 KICK-OFF SNAPSHOTS




Minutes later, my sidekick Sara shows up and then Megan, our fearless Clarinet squad leader. We end up groovin' to Gwen Stefani's new yodeling track and watching some vintage music videos from the 80s: specifically Take On Me, Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This, and China Girl. I forgot how hilarious David Bowie's China Girl music video was; seriously, at one point in the video, his lil' China girl is doing the slow-motion Baywatch while wearing a gray uniform and waving the communist flag. Now THAT is HOT!! *rolls eyes*



I feel a-tragic like I'm Marlon Brando
When I look at my China Girl
I could pretend that nothing really meant too much
When I look at my China Girl
I stumble into town just like a sacred cow
Visions of swastikas in my head
Plans for everyone!
It's in the whites of my eyes...


DV8 MUSIC VIDEO REEL




After about 40 minutes of staring blankly at my massive heap of horror flicks, we all come to a decision. First up, everybody's favorite torture film, Hostel! :-D Half an hour into it Amanda (with Liz) calls me up in a panic: "James. Hi. How are you. Ummm... WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! There is no Lahm 10! And there's this guy in Lahm 11 with a 'James' nametag on his door, but he's not you. AHHH!" Wow, another James lives next door to me... go figure. Yeah, that's how close we are at Lahm. :-D I assure them that I do, in fact, live in the big brick annex attached to the motel... right next to Suite 11. Yeah... I let the girls inside and at one point, I remember discretely falling over behind the couch because my leather chaps are longer than my legs. And as usual, when that big torture scene comes up, I think everyone simultaneously crosses their legs! OUCH! At that moment, Meg's mom covers her eyes and Megan looks like she might leap out the window if the movie gets any more gruesome. Everyone (except Sara) loves the movie's ending... I remember sitting in the theater watching it and how we practically did the wave during the entire Revenge sequence. Very good stuff.

Emma Bunton

Colours of the world (Spice Up Your Life!)
Every boy and every girl (Spice Up Your Life!)
People of the World (Spice Up Your Life!)
Slam it to the left (If you're having a good time)
Shake it to the right (If you know that you feel fine)
Chicas to the front
Hi Ci Ya Hold Tight!

The MacBook, Spin, Nelly Furtado

A little before 11PM, the 1940s themed-Dance With Your Allies dance (Sponsored by ALLIES and The College Republicans) @ The Attic starts to let out, so the next wave will be arriving soon. A barrage of phone calls come in at once, and I decide to say, "Yes, you may bring a guest." Let me just say, my party is not a protest against the Bring Your Allies Dance... or at least, it didn't start as one. I sent my online party invitations out 10 days ago--exactly two days before the official date of the dance was relayed to Allies members and the general public. I know that as a group, we originally voted AGAINST having a dance with the Republicans but I just to have to ask: who thell chose the 1940s theme? LOL, really, EVERYTHING about the 1940s sucked for ALL of us! When I think of the 40's, I think Hitler, World War II, Pearl Harbor, and segregated schools, and of course, the Holocaust... and if I'm in a good mood, The Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy. But in all honesty, when I heard about this dance, I thought Dance With Your Allies [Quickly, before we have their asses put on the buses and shipped off to the camps!]

Megan, Me, Mel

And I'm still in the dark as to why we are even sponsoring an event with the College Republicans. For shock value? The official statement is that "we want to prove to everyone on campus that our two groups can get along even though we disagree." WHAT?! Personally, I would be a LOT more supportive if the dance actually had a THEME with a MESSAGE; Love is Love is Love, perhaps. But it doesn't, so instead of fighting/dancing for a common cause, we're just sending mixed messages. In a heartbeat, I would work with more liberal-minded groups like ours: College Democrats, Amnesty International, NAACP, Law & Justice Society, to name a few. Besides, had I actually gone to the dance, I can't say that I wouldn't segregate myself from the Republicans... No, it's not just the Gay Marriage issue that might force them to feel my wrath--health care, the environment, women's reproductive rights, education budget, affirmative action, government assistance, and the list goes on. And this is all the more reason for me to host a truly gay affair on the same night. M'hmmm.

Mark and Me

Anywho, the first to arrive is Mark and he hesitantly says, "I brought Travis." Right... Umm, Travis was INVITED, LOL! Shortly after, Melissa shows up bubbly as usual--I love it. As I put more music videos on, my deviants and I discuss the next activity, and once I mention the OUIJA board, Mark and Sara are immediately excited... Megan seems a bit frightened of its demonic roots and I have to remind everyone, "Parker Brothers, people!" It's just a board game, and according to Meg, it was made in Salem, Massachusetts in the early 20th century so they could capitalize on the Salem Witch trials. Hmmm, did not know that.

AROUND THE OUIJA BOARD


And as we all know, the board runs on brain waves, so as I sit there in awe, watching Mark and Sara actually READING THE INSTRUCTIONS, I think to myself, "Oh God, this is gonna take a while!" And as expected, Sara & Mark end up getting the most incoherent, random OUIJA messages I have ever heard in my entire life. So... Megan and I commandeer the board and like magic, we get the pointer to move on its own. To this day, my trite & true OUIJA strategy is to simply close my eyes and imagine that I'm moving a huge cinderblock with my mind... works like a charm every time. And what did we ask it, praitell? "Will Beth and Lyle hook up tonight?" The pointer slowly makes it way to {{YES}} Right... time'll tell if "the spirits" are accurate.

Fall Out Boy

Dance, Dance
We're falling apart to halftime
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you'd love to lead
Dance, this is the way they'd love
If they knew how misery loved me


DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION SHOTS




Since nobody else has any questions to ask the Parker Brothers, I break out the Dance Dance Revolution mats. At this point, Beth (with Ally-turned-College Republican Lyle), Jordan, and Jimmy have just arrived. I demonstrate how to play DDR Extreme 2 with Ambika to my old theme song, Spin Spin Sugar (Armand Van Helden's Dark Garage Mix). After I'm done, Ambika rolls through the challengers: Mark, Travis, Beth, etc. After more than an hour of DDR, I send Meg and the gang home with their party favor CD's and gift bags along with Amanda & Liz.

MATCH 1: JAMES VS MEGAN VS AMBIKA VS BETH







Then comes the moment we've all been waiting for... TWISTER, dun Dun DUN! And you know what that means: the King and Queen of Twister (Megan and Me) will duke it out once again. Ambika and Beth join in; Mark's the spinner... *locks eyes with Megan in silent communication* Beth's eliminated almost instantaneously. Leave this one to the professionals, hon. :-P The showdown lasts over 30 minutes and since we're soooo damn limber, we decide to call it 3-way tie when the MicroFridge strikes 12:50AM. Mark my words: You have not seen the last of me, Twister Queen, MUAHAHAHAHA!

MATCH 2: MEL VS MARK VS BETH VS TRAVIS





Next match is Mel versus Mark versus Beth versus Travis. Ambika spins, but then she almost dies of boredom, and in some weird twist of fate, I'm elected Spinner. Damn! I have to spin and spin and spin and those bitches refuse to fall over... even when I beg them to STAY DOWN! Really, Beth's so intense this round: "Is that all you got for me? C'mon, bitch, give me a real challenge, RRRR!" Towards the end, it's down to her and Mark. At a crucial point, she decides to ignore the "easy" move I give her and does a move that Mark dares her to do: Right Foot Green. SPLAT! *sad shake of head* Oh Coco, Silly silly Coco...

EVEN MORE PICS...




Once the Twister wars are over, I tell those indecisive bastards that we're watching Gothika, starring Academy Award winner (for Monster's Ball *rolls eyes*)... Halle Berry. The movie seems to be an overall crowdpleaser with lots of plot twists and crisp special effects yet someone finds it predictable. Always that one, LOL. When the credits roll and the Limp Bizkit cover song comes on (a lil after 3), I turn my hostages loose and stay up the rest of the night watching my favorite horror movie of all time, CANDYMAN, my hero, the tragic monster, wrongfully punished for practicing a forbidden (interracial) love... I can relate. And after all is said and done, I thoroughly enjoyed myself tonight and I had a surprisingly good turnout of 14 deviants, OW-OWWWW!

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