Opening Song: "My Prerogative (JJ Flores Remix)" - Britney Spears
How am I not myself? Frankly, I've been trying to figure that out a lot lately. I'm not pretending to be someone else yet I'm not revealing my total self... does that make me a liar? Probably, but I'm simply omitting the truth for the good of everyone around me, including myself. With my Secret Files Of JiMBO Esquire tour, I plan to shed some light on some of the mysterious aspects of my life.
Let's just start off slowly with a brief segment dealing with a real-life ninth grade encounter.
SECRET FILE #001: "The Cult"
What are you afraid of, James?
Jello.
What are you afraid of, James?
Gelatin-Jello.
James, what are you afraid of?
All gelatinous desserts. They're so damn jiggly; it's unnatural.
What are you afraid of?
*sigh* Being buried alive. The thought of crawling out of my own grave. That's why I want to be cremated and have my ashes thrown into Mount Fiji. Plus, I don't want anybody doing anything "funny" with my body. Okay!
Back when I was just a freshman, one of my senior bandmates, Jade, welcomed me to her world of bible-thumpers, inviting me so I could check it out and stay for a "one time thing." Pfft! After she begged me to join her, I finally gave in and attended her Fellowship of Christian Athletes meeting.
The first one wasn't so bad; they didn't try to force any religion onto me. I'm a good person, but when it comes to that question of whether there really is a God, I'm against the fence. Since I was 8 years old, I independently studied & practiced two forms of Christianity, Wicca, and Roman paganism, so I've dabbled quite a bit in theology. I do believe in a higher power but with so many religions out there, who is right?
This one time thing turned into a weekly group therapy session in which we read excerpts from the Christian bible and tried to abide by the holy word. The thing that tipped me over the edge and made me realize that the group wasn't so healthy was when one of the girls broke down in the middle of a meeting because she was sad that her mom was in Hell and that she'd never see her again. Ummmmm, I'm out.
And I admire Jade for wanting to try and "save" people. Unfortunately, I'm the kind of person who needs to figure things out on his own. All I know is that I'm a morally good person who tries not to be malicious or deceitful, and like it or not, that'll just have to do for now.
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