Opening Song: "You Can't Always Get What You Want" - The Rolling Stones
Wow... in less than 24 hours, I'll be uprooting myself out of Maryland and breaking new ground in Gettysburg, PA. Thanks to the recent rash of goodbye parties, I'm left with plenty of closure with my dearest friends. Let's recap (for old times):
Last Thursday (the 11th) Janelle called me up for a small get-together to celebrate her 18th birthday. I was little hesitant since I had been working on my feet all day but then she finally said those three beautiful words..."There'll be cake." I'm there!
Anywho, she swung by around 9PM and it felt like a total role reversal when she showed up at my doorstep. Janelle came in, I made my slow-motion entrance down the stairs, and Mama told her to have me home by the stroke of midnight. Strangeness. So off we went to pick up Alexis and Phil, a couple made in crazy heaven, and once that was done, we finally arrived at Nelly's house.
While we settled in for an hour, we ate some lupia (?) and noodles among other Oriental delights; most of the time, we talked to Janelle's mom about driving and roads and speed limits and ticket fines and... I forgot where this was going. So John shows up later and we all played some DDRMAX2 and In The Groove, a game I didn't know existed.
Plus, Lexi and I skimmed through one of their coffee table books, Mo'Nique's masterpiece, Skinny Women Are Evil. That got a lot of laughs. If you go out to a restaurant with three girlfriends and split a salad four ways, then you are EVIL! BTW, I watched Mo'Nique's Plus-Sized Beauty Pageant and it was actually pretty good; however, I think the bald lady should have won--c'mon, she was strong, sassy, and shiny. That's good enough for me. WOO! Go No-Hairs!
On the ride home with Janelle & John I brought up my latest Pop Culture/What the Fuck moment, the latest vehicle from Honda. This car is designed under the assumption that drivers will hit pedestrians so it comes equipped with a special pop-up hood which should, in theory, 'cause less damage to any pedestrians you may run over. HELLO! You're never supposed to hit pedestrians and if you're hit by 2 tons of steel (a car) at a high speed I really don't think behind knocked out of the way by the pop-up hood is gonna make you feel any better. Really, that's the stupidest thing I've heard in a while... I don't see any good scenarios in which a pedestrian is bounced off the road (and either falls head-first on the sidewalk or is impaled by a stop sign). What will they think of next?
Yesterday was Allison's going-away party. Her bright pastel invitations read "BYOB with tasty toppings." Well, I brought a bag of goodies, a bottle of chocolate syrup (which I ended up drinking earlier that day), and a beaker of sprinkles (which Phil immediately seized and devoured)... and I was STILL wrong! It turns out, the mystery word was BANANA. Of course! How could I have been so blind?
*sigh* The attendees at Allie's party were Amanda G, Alexis, Jen, John, Phil, Bryan, and Angela. Since Allie loves playing hostess (believe me, Momma loves being a hostess), she had a nice writing activity for us all to do. So, we all wrote down our predictions of where we thought everybody would be in ten years. It was a lot of fun AND a lot of writing. Bittersweetness. Pretty much everyone wrote down the typical predictions for me: movie director, guard at a strip club, and social worker to name a few. And everybody there could easily guess which predictions I wrote because my style is both flamboyant and outlandish. Here are a few examples:
Bryan Bosworth: Self-declared emperor of the Third World, whose favorite pasttimes include counting his mountainous stack of money, stroking his hairless pet cat, and doing battle with his archnemesis, President Sasan.
John Lucia III: Creator of a series of wildly popular and extremely violent video games by day, bartender by night.
Alexis West: Moonlighting as a lounge singer, her day job is that of a high school teacher who enjoys grammar, spelling, and going on and on and ON about her three wonderful children.
So I had my fun for the night. After that, we helped ourselves to ice cream; well not me personally, but everyone else except Bryan. Then, we all gathered around and played Loaded Questions. Oooo, doesn't that just scream excitement and fun? I agree. We played that for a couple of hours and then we went around and had our goodbye hugs and photo sessions; plus, Allie made a special pamphlet as her party favor with all of the guests' new contact information. It was nice saying goodbye to all of them, especially since I only had room to invite three of them to my party that previous Saturday.
Oh yes, how could I ever forget? I hosted my Final Farewell party last Saturday and I have to say, it was the greatest time I've had a LONNNG time--mainly because my best friends from elementary school (High Point), middle school (George Fox), and High School (Northeast) were there!
THE ATTENDEES
The first guest to arrive was Alexis (15 minutes early, as always), and as usual, I was late to my own party. Here's the thing: everytime I host a party I have to wake up early and head out for supplies (food, decorations, LOTS of Printer cartridges) so I didn't get finished setting up until 3:25PM. After everything was next-to-perfect so Mama could carry it over, I hopped into the shower, took out my shampoo, my lotions, and potions, and just got flat-out, balls-to-the-wall pretty. M'hmm, I feel that the host should always be the sleekest one in the room.
Anyway, Chelsey arrived and surprisingly enough, she brought me an offering, tins and tins of Peppermint & Wintergreen Altoids. Good stuff. Soon afterward Janelle and Jamie arrived (with a funny goodbye letter), followed by Jeff and Dan, and Super Mouse Shannon, who came bearing a heartwarming card and some mulah. The final guests to arrive were Nicole, EJ, and Carolyn aka Rice Lady. Following suit, Rice Lady brought me a very special offering, Kingdom Hospital, Stephen King's critically-acclaimed yet short-lived TV series on DVD. I love it--I just can't believe she remembered that he was one of my authors.
Unfortunately, I didn't have the chance to see all my invitees: Jess was on her way to Canada for a pre-college mountain climbing trip; Autumn was just unreachable as was Bria (my soon-to-be Gettysburg colleague); John had to work the early night-shift at Little Caesar's; Allison had to work 11 to 5 and from 6 to 10 at her two jobs (The Daily Scoop and The Children's Place).
THE MUSIC
While the guests got comfortable on the couch, on the floor, or in chairs, I showed a compilation of music videos (as well as Motion Picture vignettes) on the big screen. Some of the more popular / thought-provoking videos were Shakira's La Tortura (The Shaketon Remix), Britney's I'm A Slave 4 U, Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl, Janet Jackson's iF, KORN's Freak On A Leash, and Kelly Clarkson's Behind These Hazel Eyes, and of course, Kanye West's The New Workout Plan. HOT! Really, that last video had everyone entranced, they were just stunned by what was going on... BUT they couldn't turn away. That reminds me, Dan da Man claimed to have Kanye West songs on his iPod--he lied, y'all. Just so you know. *awkward silence* You don't care, do you?
THE FOOD
We had a good variety of food and drinks this time around. My dad pre-ordered a beautiful fruit tray (with strawberries, grapes, melon, and some shubbery) for the centerpiece, and Mama and I swung by the market for the snack packs (chips and such), ice cream bars (which I totally FORGOT to serve--oh well, they melted anyway). And as always, there was Domino's Pizza. Everybody wins.
NICOLE'S FORTUNE COOKIES
Wow, I have to devote an entire section to Nicole's offering. She wanted to be "different," so she brought fortune cookies AND I thought that was such an awesome idea, especially since they were authentic & store bought... not just a biscuit with a note shoved in it. Surprisingly, no one actually ate them at the party besides Shannon, Carolyn, Chelsey, EJ, and me. Anywho, I've been eating one a day since the party and here are my three fortunes from Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.
You will have many friends when you need them.
Your day will be good, your life will be prosperous.
In response to those predictions: 1) The party was a success; 2) I know my friends are always there even if I don't need help... and I would do anything (well, almost anything) for them; 3) I haven't had a bad day yet!
THE ACTIVITIES
In connection with my running theme, I whipped out all of my old snapshots (disposable camera prints) from middle school and high school and laid them on the desk for everyone to pass around and reflect upon the past. Towards the end of my party I was taking photo-copying requests from my originals in addition to stealing a couple pictures from that neat Prom collage that John designed (even if the pic of me & Carolyn is in StalkerVision). Throughout the party we all participated in various cheesy photo sessions with friends old and new. Like Chelsey, I wanted to use up a lot of shots so I could hurry up and get the pics developed.
After most of the guests had left, Rice Lady, Chelsey and I played against Shannon and EJ in Planet Hollywood, a 1996 trivia game about movies, actors, and multiplex-related items. Ironically, the party moved along so smoothly that I decided not to pit the guests against each other in my traditional host-created game, The Newlywed Game. It's a shame since I had bought neat prizes for the winners (eg. slinkies, yo-yos, and a plastic blow dart gun). Oh well. Toys for Tots, anyone?
THE SURPRISE GUESTS
Another thing I loved about my own party was the Game Show element (inspired by "The Price Is Right") with my special surprise guest, Marianne! It was great having her show up because she was only in town for one weekend (due to her enrollment in the Naval Academy). She came to the door with short hair and a Navy uniform ("I just love a woman in uniform!") so it was a big hit. We all took some pictures, wished each other luck, and sent Sparx on her merry way.
The other surprise guest was actually a big surprise for me personally. Wesley, the neighbor boy who I used to play Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and WrestleMania with, (well until my older brother had a falling-out with Aaron's disgusting older brother and I followed suit by not fraternizing with the locals) arrived at my doorstep all grown up. My jaw literally hit the floor 'cause I hadn't seen and talked to him for at least ten years EVEN THOUGH he lives diagonally behind my house. But then again, I usually don't hang out with youngbucks unless I really have to do so. Anyway, guess what? He's dating Nicole! Wow, he's 17 years old now yet I thought he was too young for Nicole, the only person younger than me to ever be invited to one of my parties.
THE MOVIES
Let's see, after debating for minutes about which movie we should watch we quickly settled on Seed of Chucky, a hilarious horror comedy starring Jennifer Tilly, Brad Douriff, and Billy Boyd. Alexis was genuinely traumatized by The Bride of Chucky, so she just turned herself around on the couch and faced the wall. Just a little creepy.
Next we watched a childhood favorite among a few of my guests, Drop Dead Fred starring Phoebe Cates, Rik Mayall, and Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia, y'all!). For those not in the know, Drop Dead Fred is a very heartwarming and outrageous movie about a woman who, after losing her car, her job, her husband, gets a visit from her imaginary best friend from childhood, Drop Dead Fred.
PARTY FAVORS
In the weeks before the party I was designing and mixing DVDs and CDs to hand out as party favors. The CD featured my all-time favorite dance songs (eg "I'm A Slave 4 U," "Boom Boom Boom," "Sandstorm," and "Rhythm Nation") and the DVD featured music videos, clips from my favorite movies, and some rare home movies of myself and about half of the party guests as children. One special DVD feature was the footage from my infamous surprise party, entitled Who Gave Tommy A Camera?! Sorry guys, it was me.
I gave my guests a special screening of my music video, set to Lose Control/On & On from Missy Elliot, Ciara, and Fat Man Scoop. Although it was filmed and edited in less than 45 minutes, I was extremely pleased with the final result. However, my dance moves were so quick and on-time that the camera barely captures every movement, which gave it a very Martix-y feel. Judging by the applause afterwards, I think my friends really enjoyed the video... even if I did get a little naughty towards the end, unleashing the moves I didn't use in my strip club scene from ALiAS.
Everybody seemed to love the home movies of us from elementary school and middle school (Janelle was such a cute magician) and things just got better when we watched a classic music video from circa 1990, George Michael's Faith. Lots of denim, stubble, and gyration going on there--I thought EJ was gonna explode.
I'm truly glad Dan came 'cause I hadn't talked to him for a while (didn't think I get to say goodbye); plus, it was cool to know that we had a lot in common back in the simpler days of childhood. For instance, he was only other person there who watched WMAC Masters, one of my favorite shows as a kid. I showed a clip from the show and people were bursting out laughing because it was so cool back then but now, it's just hilarious. But then again, it wasn't nearly as funny as Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills *takes a big breath*, another JiMBO gem.
So after the night was over, I was overcome with joy because I seized the chance to say goodbye to those who meant SOOOO MUCH to me over the past twelve years. I will truly miss them all and I just hope that they achieve their goals (and that they actually set some good ones). I know they'll be just fine--they're my peeps and I love each and every one of 'em.
Alright, it would be very easy for me to just mope around my dorm crooning I Can't Live If Living Is Without You but since that's not exactly my style, I've decided to start anew and post entries about my new life in Pennsylvania while concurrently finishing some more tours on this journal. So push the green button below to watch my new show coming this Fall, Under The Big Top: The College Years. See ya when I do!
Oh yeah, before I leave, Jess, when Margaret CHO comes to town, we're goin'! A'ight? That's right, girl, 'cause I wanna go see the "Choo Chow Ching Chong Lady!"
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