Chaos Under The Big Top: The College Years
-Sex, Drugs, and Midterms-
Exclusive Interview with
Creator / Writer / Protagonist
Mr. JiMBO Esquire
SEASON ONE
Chaos Under The Big Top: The College Years is a spin-off from a blog I wrote in high school, entitled The Rise & Fall Of JiMBO Esquire. Overwhelming responses of surprise and intrigue triggered by my original blog (a refreshing peek into the mind of a closet sociopath) inspired me to create a college-themed writing circle. My friends are still more than welcome to write their own episodes and post them on the CUTBT site; I'm not the only member but I'm the only one who posts. Unlike with Seasons 2 and 3, I had no masterplan outlining all the themes that Season 1 would tackle; that's why it is the longest season by far with a total of 63 episodes. It fully covers everything from moving away from my family to campus adventures to roommate melodrama to academics.SEASON ONE THEME SONG: New - No Doubt
AWARDS: Honored as "The Best Of LiveJournal" (2005) by LJTop
FAVORITE EPISODES: That Burning Sensation, Bling It On, Bitches!, Sure, I'll Join Your Cult, Population Regulation Obligation To Our Nation (Ball Of Confusion!), Social Activities...?, Pilot, Sandlot! Sandlot!
The Pilot: "The Big Move" (8.19.2005)
Q: In the Pilot, you refer to your freshman dorm room as a "sweatbox," how was your first night in Lahm?
A: Although I was in the most cushy freshman dorm last year, Huber, my room in Lahm is much better. It has a giant air conditioner, wall heaters, satellite TV, a bathroom, three closets, carpeted floors, a private corridor, and about twice the space. I spent my first couple of nights trying to make it home-y: decorating the bathroom along with the grunt work of moving the desks, bunking and moving the beds, and screwing together the couch.
Q: I bet you've fixed it up quite nicely.
A: Yes, I'm happy to report it's cleaner now than when we first opened the door. There were stains on the carpet, dust and spiderwebs everywhere...
Q: Barf.A: I know! My first trip to the store wasn't for food or water; it was for cleaning products, namely Febreze and Resolve upholstery cleaner. Whenever I get mad at my roomie and have to tell him to take out his trash or recycling, I always remember the words of Joan Crawford, "I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the dirt!"
Q: Do you still look at snapshots of your high school friends every night?
A: No, actually. Now with FaceBook and my online photo database, all of their pics are just a click away. I like to reminisce every now and then, but all those KODAK prints need to go in an album or on a collage eventually.
Q: Are you homesick at all?
A: Not really. I love all my friends back home and I try to touch base with them every couple of months, but I'm trying to be a devoted friend here. When it comes to family, I really miss my sister the most because we barely hung out as children and I want to make sure we connect before she starts a family of her own. Of course, I love my parental units, and it's nice to feel needed everytime I come home. Seriously, everytime I go home I have to fix everything in the house, LOL. Luckily, now all I have to do is use System Restore to time travel back to the day I left. Problem solved.
Episode 1.02 - "Social Activities...?" (8.21.2005)
Q: So, how did this year's Clarinet Cartwheel Contest go?
A: I successfully defended my title for the second year in a row. Boo-yah. I still think it's hilarious that Matt won the Starburst Award for refusing to participate.
Q: Are you still enthusiastic about Marching Band?"
A: YES! I love performing in front of a huge crowd, and Band peeps are some of the most interesting people you'll ever meet. Besides, it's Symphony Band that's kickin' my ass. Last year, I devoted so much outside practice time to that and Wind Ensemble every single night, but this semester, that's all just too much of a hassle for this non-Music major.
Episode 1.04 - "The Sincerest Form of Flattery" (8.23.2005)
Q: Was this morning visit from S&S your first run-in with The Fuzz?
A: No, unfortunately. During senior year, it was another gay sunshine day outside so right before play rehearsal, I walked up to the playground so I could catch up on my swingin'. Anyway, there was this wrinkly, half-nekked hippie doing yoga in the grass. So, I decided to leave my heavy-ass school stuff on the park bench and take a half-hour walk on the bike trail... Anywho, I come back and two squad cars are parked there and two police officers have surrounded the bench. One cop is tearing my bookbag apart as the other dials numbers on my cell. I walk over, explain who I am, and the cop screams in terror, WHAT is THAT?! And I look at him like he's crazy and say, "It's my clarinet." Geez, I was only gone for a half hour. LOL, good thing I was smart enough to keep the good stuff on me.
Q: True dat. Speaking of good stuff, how were this year's Band Camp Skits?
A: I won't lie to you... they were surprisingly awesome. Straight up, these guys were much racier and creative than we were last year. But then again, this year even the most straight-laced members had their own "What the Fuck?" moments. Hell, I wore a belly shirt, a baseball cap, and a gold chain in broad DAYLIGHT in public for cryin' out loud.
Episode 1.09 - "GIV Day (8.25.2005)
Q: After randomly meeting Travis in Servo, did you ever think you'd see him again?
A: Hell no! Not counting his name, he didn't say one word at breakfast; frankly, I saw a part of myself in him. I never would've thought I'd see him again in ALLIES or we'd become such good friends.
Episode 1.11 - This Wasn't In The Brochure (8.25.2005)Q: Alright, I've gotta ask. Have you had any ghost sightings since arriving in Gettysburg?
A: Although it constantly feels like you're surrounded by people when walking around at night, I haven't experienced a poltergeist. However, one picture from ALLIES' trip to Brokeback Mountain seems to have captured some ectoplasm; according to Sean, it must be a gay Civil War soldier with a thing for Heath Ledger. What? Heath's HUGE in the underworld nowadays.
Episode 1.21 - "Sandlot! Sandlot!" (9.4.2005)
Q: Did you make any returns to the sandlot this year?
A: Nah, but I did play football and murder frisbee with a few Band peeps. The games were very fun but it had just rained that morning, so I was slippin' all over the place in my Black nikes. Keep-Away Frisbee literally turned into a scene from Kill Bill. Wyah!
Episode 1.24 - "Ninja!" (9.9.2005)
Q: Wow, I just realized this is the first time you mention Danny in an episode. Did you intentionally include him so early on?
A: Definitely. I knew he'd eventually play a big role on the show. In Dusty's class, I was instantly drawn to him because of a common talent: writing--his specialty being poetry, mine being screenplay and personal essay. Like Travis, I guess I saw a part of myself reflected in him.
Episode 1.33 - "Bling it on, Bitches!" (9.25.2005)
Q: Speaking of reflective substances, danced in any more pools of beer lately?
A: LOL, no, I've been pretty good lately. But let me tell ya: dancing in leather chaps is sooo much fun.
Q: I'll take your word for it. What would you say are your Top 5 favorite Dance songs?
A: My Top 5 Countdown would be:
#5: Lovertits - Peaches
#4: Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) - A*TEENS
#3: At The End (Scumfrog Remix) - iiO
#2: Sandstorm - Darude
#1: Spin Spin Sugar (Dark Garage Mix) - Sneaker Pimps
ReRun - HOLLYWOOD: Prom from a dancer's perspective (May 2005)
Q: Why did you include the Prom episode again?
A: Mainly because of the enormous popularity of the original entry in The Rise & Fall of JiMBO Esquire. Plus, I was missing my friends back home so much when autumn rolled around. I needed to revel in some nostalgia.
Q: What was your class's Prom song?
A: I'm not sure. I think most of us would agree it was "Burn" by Usher. Our class song was Save a Horse (Ride A Cowboy!) by Big & Rich and our unofficial graduation song was "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey.
Q: Would you say Senior Prom was the happiest night of your life?
A: I wouldn't say all that, LOL. I was impressed that mine was the name on everyone's lips Monday morning ('cause of the dancin' skills), not the prom king. But I'd say it comes in a close second after the premiere of my one-act play, Alias: Day of the Doppelganger 'cause honestly, when will I ever get another chance to strip and kick genetically mutated ass on stage in front of literally dozens and dozens of people. That doesn't happen everyday y'know.
Episode 1.36 - "Bad, James!" (10.4.2005)
Q: Speaking of NCO Daddio Productions, is your story available online yet?
A: Not yet, but The Object of My Obsession: A Tale of Unrequited Love & Bloody Revenge will be available in my online portfolio early next year.
Q: Was there a real life influence behind this gothic tale?
A: Of course. It was inspired by my friendship with a guy named John during high school. We were close friends before and after he came out of the closet, and we both understood that we were always just going to be friends. We were perfectly fine dissing each other's crushes and engaging in friendly flirting. However, even after I told him about a conniving classmate who annoyed the hell out of me, John made out with him in a public place and then told me and some friends at a party. He didn't seem proud of it or satisfied by it but it was such a flagrant betrayal. From then on, I felt like I was only his friend when it was convenient (ie. when I did something that made him proud of me). With this story, I decide to give us all a happier ending--filled with a lot more blood and gore--but happier nonetheless.
Episode 1.37 - Pasadena Revisited" (10.16.2005)
Q: Are you always spotted that quickly by JiMBO fans when returning to Pasadena?
A: Never fails, my friend! Exactly 3 seconds after arriving in town and entering Circuit City, I was being lovingly whipped by my good pal, Steve-O. I hadn't seen him since NHS graduation--just on MySpace.
Episode 1.38 - WashOut" (10.22.2005)
Q: Have you been stickin' to your Ninja/Stripper Workout?
A: Nah, I'm currently taking a hiatus from the gym to give my body a rest and so I can avoid looking skeletal. I just wanna make sure I don't look like Jack Frost from The Nightmare Before Christmas. For now, I just get my exercise from dancing nekked every single morning (sometimes afternoon), walking, push-ups and sit-ups. I've learned to love my cartoonish body proportions and I'm less than 10 pounds under my target weight.
Q: If you don't mind me asking, what's your current target?
A: Since I'm a 5'9 vegetarian with less than 3 percent body fat, I'm striving for a comfortable 125. The heaviest I've been is 126 and that was when I REALLY wanted my body to be 100% erotic dance-ready. I succeeded. *wink*
Episode 1.39 - "Halloween Parade" (10.25.2005)
Q: I see you were a Sexy Cowboy this year for the parade. Damn, weren't you freezing in that costume?
A: Oh, c'mon! Last year, I practically went out in the rain wearing two potato chips and a band aid and I was fine. You know I've gotta slut it up. The leather chaps were longer than my legs BUT they were laced with fringe. FRINGE! You can't beat that. Oh well, at least Dr. Peddell liked the costume. It's always nice when he isn't mad about something.
Q: So true. What was your favorite costume at the parade?
A: I'd have to say the Swedish Chef. He was always my favorite muppet... even if you can't understand a thing he says.
Episode 1.41 - "Sure, I'll Join Your Cult" (10.27.05)
Q: One of my friends back home would say that that the gays are a cult. "They will suck you in!"
A: Duh! That's why I joined. *wink*
Q: Of course! LOL, so does the ALLIES room still have that gigantic Carson Kressley shrine?
A: No, it's all about Gyllenhaal, baby. Actually, the room has a much cleaner, more sophisticated look now. Plus, there aren't just random pictures of hot guys on the office wall. And all those irrelevant/disgraceful books from the 70s about homosexuality are finally out of the room. I believe one of the biggest threats in the world today is misinformation--it can cause wars.
Episode 1.48 - "AfterShock Part II" (11.05.2005)
Q: After that drug-induced conversation with Huber Travis in the men's room, have you carried any other conversations in public restrooms?
A: No, Thank God. I have my own private restroom now, so I don't have to deal with violations of male bathroom etiquette. The bathroom is never a place to socialize... unless you're someone who's down for the classic high-risk sexual encounter.
Episode 1.51 - Population Regulation Obligation To Our Nation (Ball Of Confusion) (11.12.05)Q: Speaking of sexual encounters, do you still recommend Trojan's Warm Sensations?
A: Yep, they're still #1 in my book. But if you wanna spice things up, you could always go for the rubber-studded latex RoughRiders.
Episode 1.62 - That Burning Sensation (Season Finale) (12.2.2005)
Q: People probably ask you this all the time, but was that really syphillis?
A: YES, they do, and NO, it wasn't. It sure as hell fooled me though. Ironically, excessive grooming caused that throbbing tumor-like infection. It was hands-down the worst physical pain I've ever experienced, mainly because it was on the most sensitive area of my body.
Got questions? Send 'em in and as always, I'll give you an honest answer. :-D
I'd prefer postings directly on the blog--that way if someone else has the same question, I can get a 2-for-1 deal. PeaceOut, JiMBOEsq!
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