Theme Song: "LoveFool" - The Cardigans
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, EVERYBODY!
Rewind back 24 hours. It's Monday afternoon and I'm just leaving the library when it hits me: instead of barely acknowledging Valentine's Day tomorrow, I'll take the opportunity to be romantic and tell Danny how I feel about him. But this won't be a typical Val Day gesture like a mini box of chocolates or Valentine's Day gram--No siree, I'm goin' undercover! That's right.
Inspired by Bruce Lee in Fists of Fury I head to the bookstore and pick up some props for my disguise: a GC baseball cap, highlighters, and blue clipboard. I look for actual gifts but there's only one V-Day card that has a hint of dignity. I steer way clear of the plethora of sleazy cards with inscriptions like "I Want You To Do One Thing This Valentine's Day... Me" or "I said... check out that hot ass!" How romantic. I mean, really, just because you start being straight doesn't mean you have to stop having taste, people! I get him one with a cute teddy bear in an oversized denim coat which reads: "Have a beary, beary happy Valentine's Day." Sweet! I set aside about 20 minutes and write a personal letter to him pouring out all of my most secret emotions on the inside cover. It feels so good to finally let 'em all out. I sign it as "Your Not-So-Secret Admirer," since it should be extremely easy to figure out it's me.
Afterwards, I head over to the CVS and find a very hot, gothic red teddy bear in a faux diamond-encrusted cage holding a chocolate rose. It's the very last one so I have to stare down the other customers signalling them to back off. RRR! When I get back to my room, I put the finishing touch on my Mailman disguise. I shave my mustache! AHHHHH! Those of you who know me know how attached I am to my mustache; with it, I look like I'm always smiling and that I'm about 14 years old... without it, I look like a 28-year-old who just had botox--well, either that or my grandpa Wes.
That night I show my sexy navy blue get-up to Sara, Matty, Emily, and Kendall. I take Sara's advice of following my instincts as to whether I should deliver the package while Danny and/or his roommate are in the room. I've printed out both of their class schedules (as well as Jai's, in case I need an accomplice who lives in Stine) and I decide to go around 12:45PM.
Fast forward to Val Day. Cap, check. Sunglasses, check. Bear, check. Valentine, check. Let's roll! I stroll into Stine Hall, put on my disguise, walk into his room and he's not there. His roommate, Will (from my Tango class) signs for the package... I'm pretty sure he doesn't recognize me, and then I hightail it outta there. On the way out, I run into Jai and for a moment I forget that I shouldn't even bother talking about romance with her (or Molly). I'm explaining my ridiculously romantic scheme and she just spaces out. I snap my fingers in front of her face and she's like, "What? What? Vagina?!" *sad shake of head* That's OK, my lesbian friend. That reminds me, Jai spends over $30 on a gift for her honey (a bouquet of flowers). That's so nice.
The only thing that catches me off-guard is Jai's response to my gesture: "What about Billy?" What about Billy?! He and I haven't even had our first date yet, and even if Danny likes me back (and that's a BIG If), it would be pretty shitty of me to cancel my date with Billy this Friday, especially since we've been planning it for almost 3 weeks now. Besides, I sent Billy a virtual gift on LiveJournal (a dozen long-stemmed red roses) two days ago. I just need a definite YES or NO from Danny so I can commit to someone for the second time. The drop-off has been made; all that's left to do now is wait...
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