Current Fan Favorite

A Nasty Case of Stage Fight

Theme Song: "Mortal Kombat" - The Immortals A couple of months ago, I found myself lounging around the house with a rare Sunda...

Saturday, May 01, 2010

Flattered Yet Frightened

Original Air Date: 03.19.05
Opening Song: "Just Like A Pill" - P!nk

Chippendales Dancer

Here we go again! Since Zach took it upon himself to tell random people that I want to be a stripper when I come of age, there’s a new place for me to feel um, unique. Now I have AVID kids coming up to me asking me if it’s true; plus, after Team Sports class, two of my freshman girls looked at me with puppy dog eyes, admired my physique and monstrous goalie skills, and tried to convince me to go out for the Soccer team. Hah! Am I good enough? Maybe so, but old men like me do not play soccer.

On Tuesday, the Music Mayhem auditions continued. The first band we heard, ironically named Shattered Dreams, had an extremely low quality demo tape; they reminded me of Evanescence, except the female vocalist sounded awful. So unbelievably awful that we pulled her out of class the next morning and made her sing a copella for us… you’ll be happy to know that she sounded a million times better, and that band will be in the show. Next up was RiVERA a.k.a. “The Band of Bitches.” They were very emo (bleh!), but they performed live for us and had some good stage presence. The only thing that creeped me out was their appearance; they all had bizarre hair don’ts and most of them wore women’s pants. Seriously, I believe that’s the first time I’ve seen a guy with a camel toe! *cringe*

Hanson

The last band we saw on Tuesday was Lost…But Not Forgotten, a trio that reminded me of Hanson. They just screamed MMMBop! Although Jess and Jen were blinded by the cuteness factor, I wasn’t impressed at all by that band. Their equipment wasn’t made for performing; I swear, I saw that kiddie drumset in the JCPenny’s winter catalog. So we had to pull the lead singer (the one in high school) out of class and give him the bad news. He was a real trooper about the whole thing—personally, I think he would have freaked out if his band had actually made it into the show.

The Notorious C.H.O.
Quote Of The Day: "I don’t have a maternal instinct in my body. I am bone dry. I’m barren. When I see children, I feel nothing." – Margaret Cho, The Revolution Tour

On the way back from Kasper’s room, we saw Ms. Walker yelling at my crush, "You ask too many questions! It’s not all about you!" Sorry, teacher, I just wanna learn! She’s pretty scary so we ran back to YB Headquarters before she could start screaming, "I’m the bride! I’M THE BRIDE!" Bitch.

On Wednesday, Lauren and I went around putting up Music Mayhem posters around the school. Apparently, since people like to tear down everything they see on the regular wall, Lauren insisted that I draped myself over the balcony and put posters there. It was actually pretty fun (and dangerous) balancing on my abs, hanging upside down over a balcony, smacking scotch tape against the wall… you’ll be happy to know, I didn’t fall to my death.

MMMmmm Donuts

That same day, we had another Honor Roll Assembly and somehow, it was even more mindnumbingly dull than usual, if such a thing is possible. Instead of watching an Anti-Drug flick (with the loud music and the crazy flashing images), we sat in the cafeteria and ate donuts for ten minutes.

Hellboy

Last weekend, Rice Lady and I revised her script for The Visits, adding in Doug’s character, Bob the Pirate (arrrgh!). We had a blast! Later, we invited Chelsey over and we all had a movie marathon since I had brought a movie over. We ended up watching TAXi, Hellboy, and Elf. And let me tell ya, Hellboy was kick-ass! Personally, I liked the blue guy with the gills ‘cause he reminded me of C3PO from Star Wars (y’know, the golden robot w/ the British accent).

JiMBO Esquire 2005
Doctor Dolittle

Oh yeah, Mrs. Bowen, my Criminal Justice teacher, told me that I look like a celebrity… she just doesn’t know who; according to one of my classmates, she’s thinking of Doctor Dolittle! PFFT! After examining the evidence, I really think that my ex-rival, Satan McHellfire, looks a lot more like Dr. Dolittle than I do.

Tahj MowryJiMBO circa 2000

Actually, I used to think I looked like Tahj Mowry (the cute little kid from Smart Guy). Anyway, this got me thinking about which celebrities my friends remind me of. Hmmm…

Alright, let’s play
CELEBRITY COUNTERPARTS

Cillian Murphy aka Scarecrow
John = Cillian Murphy (from Batman Begins)
Total clone, dude! Seriously, I was flipping through my magazine wondering, "What’s John doin’ up in here?"

Shari Headley
Nikita = Shari Headley (from Coming to America)
Nikita, a friend from work, looks almost exactly like the girl from Coming to America.

Britney Spears, baby yeah!
K.T.H = Britney Spears (you know who she is)
I’ve always loved K.T.H’s good looks. Beauty and Brains, baby!

Amy Lee
Amanda L = Amy Lee (from Evanescence)
They have the same face.

Elizabeth Shue
Super Mouse = Liz Shue (from Adventures in Babysitting)
So that’s why I love Shannon so much; she reminds me of a brunette version of 80s girl-next-door actress, Elizabeth Shue.

Cher
Alexis = Cher (singer, actress, pop icon)
They both have those long legs and long hair; plus, Alexis is a singer too.

Leslie Bibb
Shannon L = Leslie Bibb (from The Skulls)
Oh yes, Shannon L aka our Homecoming Queen reminds me of actress Leslie Bibb, who played the teenage blond bombshell on POPular.

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