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A Nasty Case of Stage Fight

Theme Song: "Mortal Kombat" - The Immortals A couple of months ago, I found myself lounging around the house with a rare Sunda...

Monday, May 03, 2010

Home For The Holidays (2.03)

Original Air Date: 01.14.2006
Theme Song: "Where's The Party?" - Vitamin C

After a long day of packing (for my return to campus), I come home and relax shortly after Janelle & Colleen’s L8 Holiday Party has already started. Lo and behold around 8:30P Nelly calls me up and asks if I’m still coming; of course I am, but I’m always fashionably... two hours late. Twenty minutes later, I go to Nelly’s house and since I left my contacts in my dorm and I really don’t feel like wearing my Urkel glasses, I walk into the party blind as a bat. Nelly must’ve changed the line-up on me! I look on the couch and none of the bodies on the couch look familiar. The only one I think I recognize is Jamie... but that turns out to be my Rice Lady!

Why DO Men Have Nipples?

Shortly after I arrive I dispense the gifts: I give Lexi a Dream Dictionary (and according to Freud, dreams about locked-doors mean you wanna have sex with your father), John Resident Evil: Apocalyspe, Super Mouse Shannon It, Little Shop Of Horrors, and The Great Mouse Detective (which I borrowed from her months ago), EJ The Skeleton Key, Jenn I Know What You Did Last Summer, Colleen Sin City playing cards, Jamie Edward Scissorhands figurines, Chelsey a How to Draw Manga calendar, Janelle the Showgirls VIP Boxed Set, and Rice Lady Why Do Men Have Nipples and America's Dumbest Criminials.

Why Am I Still Single?

It’s been about 6 months since I’ve seen everyone and they have all changed physically, except Chelsey—she looks exactly the same. She’s on her long-ass Winter Break (til the 30th) from UMBC; she likes it there but my GC workload gives her quite a scare. A little later, Lexis arrives with her loving husband, Phil. Having visited a hospital earlier that day, Phil decides to pass around a book of gruesome B&W autopsy slides. "Are those kidneys or tomatoes?" *cringe* Strangely hot. Speaking of HOT, EJ has lost at least 60 pounds and is actually lookin’ pretty good, but... he’s still the same ol’ EJ. Jenn’s back from the Navy; now that she’s graduated Nuke school, she’s en route to California for more training. Surprisingly, she and Jackie-Chan aren’t joined at the hip anymore. Mysterious Mary’s there… and apparently EJ’s the only one who knows who that is.

Rice Lady & John

John and Todd... *sigh* All I can think is, What-A-Mess! For months I've been looking forward to meeting the special guy who John has sacrificed so much for... but once I see him I say to myself, I've been waiting for that?! I walk in the door, Todd waves and passes out on the couch. Bitch, it’s not even 9 o’clock; am I that boring? Anywho, John decides to take him home almost right after I arrive. Oh well, it’s a shame Todd doesn’t make a better first impression on me or on my Rice Lady (equally shocked)... y’know, unless he intended to come off as a depressed, narcoleptic mute. By the time he goes, I've barely had a conversation with him, although I do give him a sunny, polite goodbye. O well, John really cares about him so I'll just let it ride.

Chelsey, Me, Rice Lady

That reminds me, RICE LADY!! Finally, I get to see my girrrl; I’ve been missing her so much, especially since she’s totally computer illiterate and uses Chelsey as her secretary. We catch up on each other’s lives. We talk about her pimpin’ grandfather and his airhead trophy wife and our crazy professors, of course. She plans to enter AACC’s nursing program, and I’m very proud of her for going for it! At one point in our conversation, Rice Lady tells me the only reason she came to the party was to see me. Awwwww... that’s the 3rd nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me. The 1st being John's "You have the perfect body" (even though he was probably just reeeally horny that afternoon) and the 2nd being Sara & Nichol's "We want to Bang You!" (after my showstopping performance at Music Mayhem).

EJ and Colleen

Oh yes, and I can't leave out the guest of honor, Colleen! Wow, Nelly's still got great taste: Colleen seems friendly and sweet. Plus, she's a Film major (like me) and the girl can sing, something she proves while singing "American Woman" with Jamie. Jamie and I have a blast watching and laughing our asses off at The Skeleton Key, a tame, lame, re-hashed horror pic starring Kate Hudson. At one point this crazy old bitty with broken legs is slowly crawling after 22 year old Kate Hudson; we’re like "Kick her in the face, Kate! Turn her over (like a turtle)!" 'Cause, really, people, what’s she gon’ do?!

Shannon & Rob

The last couple to arrive is Shannon & Rob. Let me say they are sooo cute together... even if Rob looks a little old. And all night they're doing cute-sy couple things; almost as soon as they both sit down, he picks her boogers. <-- I don't know whether to "AWWW" or "EWWWW" on that one. Later when we play Karaoke Revolution Rob actually tries to sing; let's just say he shouldn't quit his day job, but Hell, guys AREN'T supposed to be good singers. Shannon, on the other hand, totally nails "You Really Got Me"; even though she misses half of the lyrics she still manages to earn GOLD (the same as Rob).

Who's your daddy now?

That reminds me, Shannon almost doesn't sing but is forced to after Janelle sits on her. Works every time... and in every situation! Unfortunately when she landed on Shannon, I was also somewhat pinned to the couch---I think I sprained my shoulder! Just kidding! After partying until a little after 1:30AM, I ride home with Rice Lady and Chelsey and I'm reminded of the good ol' days. I wonder if they all know how much I truly miss them when I'm up in Pennsylvania; I keep them in my thoughts constantly and hopefully, they do the same for me.

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