Theme Song: "True" - Spandau Ballet
After 30 more minutes of conversation with Sarah, Jai comes and joins us by the Coffee Cart. Drained of energy after walking / dancing around in killer heels all night, she plops down on the couch somewhat depressed. Apparently, she and her date (the mysterious "girl in the tux") have zero chemistry together much to Jai's chagrin. Now she's just waiting for friend Mike, the Snow Ball King, to smuggle some booze in for her. I start to feel bad for her... that is, until she gets vicious.
As we reminisce about Dusty's writing class, Jai comments that the only writer she actually respected in the class was Alex. She even goes so far as to say my writing's "kinda bad," expecting me to laugh. Bitch, I don't think anyone who was in that class is a bad writer; we just all have different styles. And of all people, she respects Alex, the guy who can't even pronounce the big words he randomly plops into his stories (to sound smarter). Really, he started off the class as an extremely pretentious boob only to gain my admiration at the end of the course when he used conversational English. Speaking of pretension, Jai's one to talk herself. *snap-snap with head swivel* M'hmmm. If anyone from that class, the writers I was most intimidated by were Ambika, Kelly, and Lindsey D. But enough about that.
Things really get interesting when I open up a can of worms (as usual) by telling the girls that "my secret crush" is there and we've run into each other twice in the ballroom with minimal conversation. So of course the guessing game begins. Jai looks at me with those witchy-poo eyes and immediately says, "Danny?" *CHOKE!* What?! How did you KNOW?! Is it THAT obvious?! Jai sees my reaction and responds, "What? I got it right?" I ask her how she knew it was Danny and she just laughs and says, "Well, it sure as hell ain't Mark!" OMG, Thank you! LOL, at least somebody knows better around here.
I confess to Jai and Sarah that I do, in fact, have a crush on Danny. As Jai pointed out, it did help that we sat directly across from each other in Dusty's class; however, I hardly ever looked straight ahead in that class because I know I'd get lost in those eyes (which is weird 'cause I've never been an EYE guy). I'm strangely put off/happy that they think it's cute... I don't usually consider my heartfelt emotions "cute." But I'm truly disgusted when Jai suggests that we out him on the SOAR Bulletin Board (something I would NEVER do--well, not unless he really pissed me off), and when she suggests that I tell him I think he's so HOT and blah blah blah... 'cause it's not true.
Unlike every other crush I've had after puberty, this one isn't driven by lust; I've grown from liking his personality and his writing to slowly appreciating his looks (even if he does have the worst, most-forced smile I've ever seen, LOL). And my biggest fear is that if I ever tell him how I really feel, he'll never wanna speak to me again and our friendship will be ruined over something so small. I long to have a relationship with him, not the Fuck-and-Run I've grown accustomed to over the past few years. Has it finally happened? Could this be love... gay love?
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